Bittersweet

2010-07-26T22:42:00.001+08:00

simplicityescape.wordpress.com

Bye blogger.

2010-07-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

You are never here when i needed you.

2010-07-17T12:17:00.001+08:00

What happens when u miss someone so badly?

I have been dying to see baby just few days ago,

But it all turns out that my misses for him isn't as much as I thought it was

it must have been some disappointment that left me giving up.

Yeah I shld agree that I will wait and nt express it all

2010-07-14T22:37:00.001+08:00

Instead of treasuring calls and hearing each other voice.

It turns out into a fight.

Its bad enough to be suffering inside and outside.

A fight that we cant do anything.
A fight that we cant solve.
A fight that we cant talk well over it.

It feels terrible.

i'm always not the first that comes into yr mind.

Tonight's gonna a the worst night ever

2010-07-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Time has been passing extremely slow unlike last week.

It's another 2 full days till it all ends, i know baby is suffering real badly.

I wish it all ends soon for him so he can rest well.
Having to wake up at 5am everyday and then doing all the shit hard work is damn tiring

it wasn't easy for me as well on the first day, without having baby ard, things just doesn't goes right.

Alt I feel upset that I can't talk to him much and his reply are always just few words,
knwing hw extremely tired he is, I really wish time flies now

sighh,

at least i'm glad it isn't something i have to face every week, hope tt this 2days cld pass fast

2010-07-12T20:38:00.001+08:00

i gotta be strong

2010-07-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

time really does flies, before I cld even prepare,

Baby is going for reservice tml.

mixed feelings.

Kinda upset.

I dont knw.

I just feel weird

Without him ard, I knw I'm gonna miss him badly.

Am already now.

bcus past few weeks he has been busy training,

We haven gotten to spend time tgt before tml.

But I'm really happy SIM won the PM cup this year.

you knw that kind of happiness that you just burst into tears,

I knw I'm crazy bcus it has nth to do with me

But I feel it, I don't know why.

I was really nervous and excited about the race,i was screaming away, heart pumping like its gonna drop out.

I really feel damn damn happy for baby,for SIM.

totally no words to describe.

but at every race I'm with baby,i always ponder did he rly do it for me like he always claim?

I always had to remind him of my presence each time.

Its kinda tiring.

Its no joke having to stay the whole day at race site under hot sun all alone.

Yes,all alone.

It isn't fun at all, really boring just sitting there the whole day, you get all sticky dirty and hungry just waiting.

At the end of the day,i get tired of this.

But I know this is being there for baby.

I always wonder how long is this gonna go, after 3yrs already.

Well...

Sigh, 5days without baby.

Really gonna sucks, I'm feeling it already.

Bcus we havent been given a chance to treasure the time before

I really wish I knew what you are thinking and feeling.

2010-07-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

I wish you really know how much you mean to me.

2010-07-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

2010-07-10T10:20:00.002+08:00

School on a saturday morning !

Its CRAP !

i'm having monstrous cramp.

School always seems so far away no matter from home or baby's home :(

3hrs lecture is really tedious !

Now i can stop complaining why is the timetable so Relax with 3hrs lecture a day.

Alt its a waste of time travelling down just for 3hrs.

I see the reason now.

Uni really changes us to be more matured.

I'm hungry for lunch and breakfast.

No food at home.

Boos !

Baby's having race this weekend, thanks to the 12-3 lecture that spoil my saturday

i cant go over to see him.

I shall wait for him at home with his wife (dog) (:

and then give him 100% support for the impt PM Cup tml !

Good luck Hubby (:

3years

2010-07-08T10:08:00.003+08:00

This how amazing love is isnt it ?

I'm sure everyone wld want to feel again what it feels like to have those heart thumping days once again.

The days where you look into each other eyes, your heart start pumping furiously.

When your lips first met.

When you could laugh at each other.

As time goes by, things changes.

It doesnt feels that way anymore.

Instead it feels like a habit, something that we had alr gotten use to.

I knw its impossible to get those days back again.

It isnt easy to feel each other and know what each other want again.

Instead, as time goes, you need more care, more love, more attention.

Girls nvr can get enough of them but guys just doesnt understand.

Instead they find it demanding and thinks that whatever they have done arnt appreciated or seen.

But does guys ever appreciate what girls have done for them?

No.

Jealousy is because someone mean too much to you.

But seeing your bf bearing his feelings and heart all out to his brothers but yet he cant do it to his gf.

When he get all excited just talking about them.

Each time i cld only just sigh inside.

Stil i feel happy for him.

But its hard knowing your importance and how much you mean to him

He doesnt gets angry, he doesnt gets upset, he doesnt gets worried, he doesnt gets jealous

its tiring, alt i know that you love me you care for me but feeling your importance is just different isnt it ?

2010-07-06T21:26:00.001+08:00

its always back to the same stupid issue.

Its not whether you do it or not but isit with your sincere HEART.

Fcuk up.

I still don understand at all why,why my own boyfriend cldn pour all his feelings and thoughts so well to all his brothers teammates.

BUT to me ?

And for the sake of just shwing he does still show,he can just do it saying didn't I do it?!

FML.

What is love?!

38th

2010-07-03T11:11:00.004+08:00

school has started, officially starting next tue.

uni-mates are fun but the sad thing is all those fun ppl arnt from my class.

Till now everyone is all from B and to find anyone from A class is hard !

Don knw i'm unlucky or.

SO i have to go through another friend making session on Tue, SIGH.

it sucks !

bcus everyone is alr in groups from camp, well...

anyway timetable is so relax, i need to hunt for a job soon.
i am bankrupt, gt my july's allowance and then i'm left with nth after paying this and that.

it is THAT BAD.

But who understands and appreciates huh.

me and baby is really gonna feed on grass for the rest of the mth.

Time flies, in another week honey's going for reservice.

1week without him (:

ANYWAY, HAPPY 38th BABY..

times flies, alt things change like i always sayy !

BUT still i knw that your love for me has nvr change. Thanks for always being there for me, loving me unconditionally. Most impt loving me. I'm always glad that i have you in life and having you is the best thing that ever happen (: its the 3rd but i don have the chance to see baby today :(

Horrible weekend

2010-06-27T16:09:00.002+08:00

Cant believe that i've failed my TP.

It was horrible yday, i'm kinda still dwelling over it.

That isnt the worst, worst is that suituation at home isnt getting any better for me.

Life is just so unfair.

I can only just live with it but then boyfriend is getting irritated with me.

i just need someone who i can complain and whine to make myself feel better.

I guess that's the only thing i could do.

BUT he is getting pissed, telling me to stop complaining if i don even dare to tell them right in the face.

i cant believe that he even said that to my face when i'm feeling so upset over this.

A home that doesnt feels like 1 at all.

i've always depended on baby that he will be there for me giving me the care and love i need, but again..

Sigh.

Today is Sunday but i'm not home, i feel kinda bad but i feel so upset and angry that they dont even bother and throw all the blame at me, even till ignoring me.

Screw it man.

I'm so bored, baby left so early before it even turn bright & i havent talk to him at all except a short call from him.

i'm wishing that my phone beeps and then he could come back home quickly.

it's really a horrible weekend,for me.

2010-06-25T23:26:00.001+08:00

knowing that you have a hearty breakfast starts off the day well.

Having breakfast with your love ones cheers the day up even more.

But I hardly had the chance to.

2010-06-25T15:22:00.003+08:00

home alone.

Home alone in baby's place, baby's whole family is on a trip to KL.

Baby has camp so i'm here looking after gal.

I hope that it helped baby cause he cant stay over alr.

entertaining myself, of course in such cold weather i wished he was here snuggling cuddling with me.

perhaps watching tv tgt in each other arms like we always do.

This week flies so crazily and its FRIDAY alr.

TMl is my TP ! i'm alr feeling so damn nervous that i made all mistakes just now.

awww..

when can i ever change this horrible habit of mine, and control screwing things up while nervous.

SIGH.

Each time i look at my blog i remind myself of Redang :(

i wanna go for another trip badly but its seems so HARD.

anyway things hasnt been goin well at home recently. For me.

But am glad baby is here for me giving me the love and care i need.

...

2010-06-20T22:02:00.002+08:00

Honey's asking why i havent been updating

I'm LAZY !

or rather i'm wishing time pass really slow.

Sch is starting, i have a really bad feeling about it, bcus RMIT is more on project basis. And you have to find your project mates yourself in a whole lecture of 400 students.

They have a orientation camp which allows you to make friends BUT i'm having my TP on that day.

So that explains why i'm so worried about sch.

I cant imagine having to go looking ard for project mates !

I'm hating school alr :(

But this is life that we all have to face, if we never learn to accept new things and changes in life. Life will never move on further.

Its just another week more to school, i wanna fully enjoy this 1 week before starting the battle again.

I'm missing holidays alr.

SIGH.

TP is next sat, wish me good bestest luck !

Each time i look at Redang photos, i feel so crazy again

I cant take my mind of those days there

i wanna go for another holiday soon ! BUT then baby is just not interested.

well...

we are gonna bake tml, like finally baby is so interested in baking.

2010-06-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

I've always understand for you and give you the support, but when will I be understand and feel instead?

it brings us stronger each time,but going through the long process all alone is a torture.

monday blues.

2010-05-30T21:12:00.004+08:00

i'm smelling monday blues already.

it's horrible having to face monday blues.

I guess only working life faces so bad monday blues, schooling monday blues wasnt as bad.

i just have to keep reminding myself its just 2weeks,its gonna pass real SOON.

JIAYOUS mar!

AND ITS JUNE !

where the boyfriend gets so extra BUSY with never ending training days.

it sucks once again.

But i can only give him the support right? :(

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

i'm alr missing the time spend tgt, adding on work life is gonna pull us far apart.

but despite the time we have spend tgt still sucks.

Bcus all i cld see was a tired face looking at me, falling asleep every sec.

Sigh.

could this month of june just fly pass as quickly as it could?

i don wanna get tired of it.

Hopefully we are able to go for a day spa trip at batam to relax ourselves.
And plan for phuket trip TOGETHER, i'm getting sick.

ARGH!

2010-05-30T02:19:00.002+08:00

If I say I'm feeling nth at all,it's a total lie.

I don't know why I'm feeling this way

I can't seems to get it off my mind and go to sleep. It's freaking 230am now

because I love you, I care and I mind

this isn't about trust.

I'm sure you will know how it feels if you were in my shoes.

To think you didn't even thought about me when u made that decision

plain jealousy, insecurity. Nothing to do with trust at all

But,

L. O. V. E

time flies

2010-05-29T10:22:00.012+08:00

When i was all excited and anticipated about Redang trip,

i keep telling myself for time to slow down 1week before Redang.

no matter how bad how horrible work was, still i wished time to slow down.

However when the day came,

time flies.

But i'm proud that i actually had treasured and cherished the time over there.

Saturday night, went over to Grandma's to had dinner.

After dinner dad drove me to Golden Mile complex, and there was baby's parents.

It was awkard for me, and i was kinda nervous.

And that very nice irresponsible boyfriend just left me all alone facing the parents.

Phew, glad it came out pretty fine.

The bus journey there was horrible, esp those tiny dark road where you totally cant see any of those oncoming vehicles.

Luckily i was falling asleep here and there.

(DAY 1)

we waited for an hour more for the ferry and another hr for the journey.

Checked in to our resort after briefing and settling down.

we were starving like mad, washed up and headed st8 to the restaurant.

we had a spread over our tables for every meals, that explains why i put on 1kg back there.

After lunch we went to momo tea inn, and then prepared for snokeling time

It was deep sea snokeling, kinda scary in the beginning esp when all the thousands of fishes are surrounding you.

after snokeling me and baby got alil dizzy spells.

we had our wonderful dnr after shower, and had our massage.

Live bands, beers, stroll by the beach.

our bus

No matter how tough we will always hold tight and walk down the road made for us

our belongings

check out the spread of food

(DAY2)

We had a hard time getting B&C up.

Had to had early breakfast and go for 930 time to "snokel-ling"

2nd snokel was at marine park, we had underwater photo taking.

Poor darling got a small cut from the corals.

Baby was all along holding on to me making sure my legs were afloat bcus i was afraid of the corals.

it was really sweet and nice of him despite him being very tough having to hold on to me.

after 2 snokels i had alr gotten use and started loving it !

The boat ride to and fro was great bcus we all 4 lied on the back of the boat to sun tan.

loooking at the beautiful sceneries with the sun shining on you, holding on to your love ones.

it felt really great.

we headed back for a dip, baby and i headed to the beach.

It was real beautiful with clear water, fine sands, fishes swimming ard you.

i couldnt stop getting that image of my mind.

We headed for lunch, momo tea inn, ice creams, strolls, cam whore, massage booking.

Headed to change and then headed to the beach.

Gosh, it was so relaxing while snokeling seeing those fishes swimming pass you grabbing breads.

it was then i realise this trip is gonna end.

The night was short, we went for massage again, had yummilicious seafood by the beach with beers.

lie down on the chairs and enjoy the breeze and stars.

Headed back to wash up, was too tired that i fell asleep first.

Without you, the trip wouldnt be perfect

because you will always hold me through

time for lunch!

we will always slow down our pace for each other

dinner time !

stupid "tik tok" right outside our toilet window,

local insect who BITES and goes tik tok tik tok in the dark

2nd massage place

(DAY 3)

we woke up LATE and had to rushed for breakfast check out and our ferry.

goodbye wonderful breakfast who always made my day

goodbye healthy delicious bread

goodbye my fav jam

Goodbye beautiful beach

Goodbye Redang

we will be back next year :(

Ever since i came back i was crazy, i guess i'm obsessed over Redang. The life there was so carefree, i got to put aside all troubles and stress and i cant believe i actually forgot about my whole life, who i was and etc. It was really so carefree. The moment i touch down in singapore, i felt all stress rushing through my brain.

It was a horrible feeling.

i'm still suffering for post-redang-blues now.

i need a miracle remedy.

2010-05-17T23:47:00.000+08:00

its true that as the years goes by, relationships and the love tends to gets bland.

Or rather u get tired or irritated over the other party.

I don deny it does happens to me.

Yes,i do get very irritated or rather feels sick.

I do admit it to khim so that things will start moving on even better.

I'm sure his starting to gets tired or irritated with me, I could see the ways he talks to me now.

he doesn't bothers about my msges on fb, he can comments on everyones wall but not mine. Rather being unappreciative demoralize someone further.

So nw even to bother to comment on his wall makes me think twice, why do I even bother to comment when he doesn't even appreciates or even bother to read?

Well,it really makes me even irritated.

I'm glad tt he knws tt I'm feeling irritated with his actions and words.

And hw things shld be spicing up to have the "glow" seen rather then the routine of "everything" (he shld knw what else I shld mean)

I appreciate the fact that he always trys to make me smile and shower me with the never ending love and care.

But its always too late to be there when you then realise I'm there.

Somehow being able to feel all this is a wonderful thing, bcus you know that you still love and care for this love and want to make it better

I always believe we would make it through everything because this beautiful love was made for us.

all we have to do is put in that tiny effort, things will eventually gets better and glows beautifully.

2010-05-16T22:28:00.002+08:00

i'm blessed i have someone who showers me with never ending love and care.

At times where bad thoughts flow through, i keep reminding of those things u have done for me.

having you was the best gift ever.

....................

Anway,

baby got me the polaroid as a gift for us to snap memories down, a gift for our 3rd anniversary.

Ppl who got envy went to told her bf and then the bf called baby up to scold him for buying it.

And what does baby getting it for me got to do with him .

SOO in the end you too went to get for yr spoilt gf.

it was something memorable and special for us, something baby had done surprising me.

and then it turns out that this special gift for us has been spoilt.

...............

Kinda pissed off but i shant be bothered, like baby says in the future its him tt is gonna suffer not us.

2010-05-16T22:20:00.002+08:00

time is flying rapidly now.

The weekends are over, monday is here again. 3more days of work.

Time slow down now pls, redang is coming i dont want it to just fly pass

So pls pls start slowing down now :(

chalet was a blast ! It was real tiring.

Baby & i left on the 2nd night to pick sis from the airport home.

we were dead tired and woke up at 230pm with a shock.

i'm gonna have a hard time going to bed now.

monday blues is here alr.

2010-05-13T23:27:00.001+08:00

2010-05-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

haven been blogging much.

Have been working is a horrible company with that tiny weeny miserable pay

thanks that next wed is the last day of work.

But glad that i had wonderful colleagues, shenn another part timer is helpful.

Alt she's younger then me by a year but somehow she's the one taking care of me at times.

Hahas, 3days left to treasure the time left with shenn and lauryn.

I wish we cld all keep in contact still and with xiaohui !

I'm gonna miss gossiping, chit chatting with them cause we could chat anything under the sky!

alt i'm working but i'm still so broke i dont knw why.

Big sum to chalet and then having lunch in town is such a killer.

argghhhh :(

Can i have a 30k job a mth too?

2010-05-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

i need that comfort, that assurance

2010-05-10T20:29:00.003+08:00

what the fcuk have i done wrong to deserve all this shit in my life.

First the nvr ending family issues.

Then, why am i in this world when i'm not even welcome.

i'm feeling bad enough after the quarrel yday.

Everything and all the blame are just all put on me.

and now you have to throw yr damn temper on me.

and throw all damn excuses at me.

ENOUGH.

i'm tired enough.

i need a damn break.

3years.

2010-05-02T15:38:00.004+08:00

Cant believe it's gonna be 3years tml, 3 YEARS !

time flies and it had been a tough journey to get so far.

From the day we got together had been so memorable, to remise the time we use to had, the first date, first hug, first kiss, all the first we had.

It isnt easy to remember those days.

But still i remind myself of the beautiful days we used to had.

As well as the tough times we had brave through.

Till now i still cant believe how time flies and its our 3rd year tgt already.

I'm happy with the way we are, the things we are going through, the promises we have shared.

And how we always handle things together, be it good or bad times.

we are always there for each other.

And that is how love shld be isnt it ?

i appreciate for all that khim had done for me, how he has change for the better since the past just for me.

How he has learn to appreciate, care and love for me even more.

Although we are always squabbling, i'm always nagging, screaming, scolding him for all his selfishness.

Still deep down, most of the time he does puts me first.

It's like watching him 3years ago turning into a man alt still sometimes his like a big baby.

All i know each time tough things gets me down, i flood myself with all the things he had done for me and the tough times we have been through.

I'm proud that we have come this far and the future we have ahead.

So, we have to continue working harder for the future baby.

I'm blessed i have you in my life, and i love you <3

Advance,

Happy 3 years Anniversary & 36 monthsary to you baby !

2010-04-14T10:17:00.003+08:00

Its another torture again, booking of jay concert tickets.

woke up at 8am , tried from 9am till now but still no avail.

Horrible Jam !

the moment i got the tickets, i get kicked out again. WTH

SIGH.

Redang has finally confirmed, we are leaving the day after my graduation day.

I'm so damn excited !

But at the same time, we are facing so much crisis now.

even to go for Jay's concert i have think twice, but now i cant seem to get any tickets ):

Finally it is work next week, i am sick of doing nth already.

Esp of thinking what to do the next day, but practically is just being with the bf.

I think he is getting sick of seeing me everyday, sick of me hanging ard everyday.

and now i'm the one who is always asking what will we be doing tml.

And he doesnt even initiate to talk about our meetings or time at all.

I merely wanted to treasure this week because i will be working the whole next week.

And if i knw that i wont be free tml i wil make sure that we are tgt the day before.

I just wanted to be there for him this period too.

But he doesnt even sees this.

please dont give up baby

2010-04-12T12:40:00.006+08:00

I'm still feeling very down, kinda unhappy and angry.

Just feel so wronged for baby.

What did he do to deserve this?

So just because of a dog baby get screwed like this?

So just because of money?

Baby is 26 already, why is he still being controlled like a child ?

I know i dont have the right to say this but i feel that he shld just speak up.

just because of this setback he doesnt wants to go holidays anymore.

Isnt it that he has already got beaten down?

Shldnt he fight for his rights? when i have fight for mine.

His an adult now and he has the right to do what he want and not just get screwed and then not retaliate.

He wasnt in the wrong at all,

ok perhaps that if we had crashed with his parents trip, we can make changes.

But baby get blames for all the trips they had crashed with.

SIGGGHH.

I cant smile when you dont baby.

i dont feel any much better seeing you so down, knowing you are in the gym whacking it out.

Yes i know definitly you will feel much better

But still i wish you could just do something for yourself, even not for me.

Each time things like this happened,

you have to just swallowed down yourself,

why baby.

You have your own mind, your own thoughts, your own life.

I understand that you dont wanna make things worse

But..

i'm not trying to make things worse but i really need to voice it out somewhere.

i'm sorry i cldnt be of any much help, but i really feel upset for you.

I wish for us for yrself for me, you will fight it through.

Things never once worked out for us, we did it together once already, now we are near there,

another setback faced, but we can do it together like i did right?

It wasnt easy at all to move this far, please don't give up baby.

Life sucks big time esp when you meet huge setbacks, but, still you have to put on a smile and move on cause tommorrow will always be a better day and there is bound to be something worth fighting for

2010-04-11T23:17:00.001+08:00

I pray real hard and hope that MOE hire us quickly and i can help baby pay off everything.

I wish.

NO OFFENCE

2010-04-11T22:35:00.006+08:00

ok sudden turn of mood.

..

Sometimes i hate the part of him being having so much commitments esp to his senstive family.

No offence but i feel i just have to rant out.

Just how his parents always treat him like a small kid when he is already passing mid 20s this year.

i have no say in anything but i just dislike seeing things like this.

How everyone is pushing ah gal to him,

yes, it belongs to baby but she is part of the family to everyone, everyone have a part in playing and everything.

BUT when there is problem, everything is just push to baby.

It isnt fair at all.

then when it comes to a say of ah gal, baby have no say at all.

then what is it when it always comes to ah gal is yours ?

They were the ones who had a part to play in spoiling her, a dog has to be watched 24hrs ?

Baby had to always manage time just to rush home to watch her when no one is home.

i'm getting really pissed off seeing baby suffering like this,

then what is family when money is always the issue, its not that baby didnt pay or return.

baby has to struggle between work studies training, where can he get so much money.

why cant they understand it is never easy for baby and he hasnt taken allowance for 6mths.

6 long months baby struggled through.

sigh.

i'm hopping mad at seeing how baby is scolded accusingly.

i can say that when we are all thinking and booking for our trip the 1st thing on his mind is his parents and ah gal.

And it wasnt me or us being able to for holiday after so long.

i feel so angry for baby being wronged.

ok i need to cool down and go rest.

.

Now when i have the chance to go overseas but just with my own means.

He has to face all this now.

This is life we all have to face, sigh, and also something of him i have to accept.

I always know that the future we have will never gonna be easy and getting along with his family now is easy.

But in the future i know it is super damn not gonna be easy at all.

And times i think that having our ROM next year is gonna have so much objections.

2010-04-11T22:13:00.003+08:00

Still feels like our first night together

Feels like the first kiss

It's getting better baby

No one can better this

Still holding on,

you're still the one

First time our eyes met

Same feeling I get

Only feels much stronger

I Wanna love you longer

You still turn the fire on

so if you're feelin' lonely don't

you're the only one I ever want

I only wanna make it good

so if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do

Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Don't deny me this pain I'm going through

Please forgive me I need you like I do

Please believe me every word I say is true

Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together

Feels like the first touch

Still getting closer baby

Can't get close enough

Still holding on

you're still number one

I remember the smell of your skin

I remember everything

I remember all your moves

I remember you, yeah

I remember the nights, you know i still do

so if you're feelin' lonely don't
you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
so if I love you a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

The one thing i'm sure of

Is the way we make love

The one thing i depend on

Is for us to stay strong

With every word and every breath i'm praying

That's why i'm saying

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through
Please forgive me I need you like I do
Baby believe it, every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
No, believe, i dont know what i do
Please forgive me, i can't stop loving you
I can't stop loving you

2010-04-10T13:15:00.002+08:00

Yesterday we went down to Suntec for the Asian Travel Fair,

Baby & I went to check out all the rates.

Met up with Charles and Bern, we went to check out here & there.

Went for Coffee and discussed.

Decided on Cruise Redang but no more cabins available.

So we decided to go for Redang and then Cruise in Aug.

Initial plan was cruise first and then redang.

Ok, i cant wait for Aug cruise.

But our Redang in may first (:

End of year another shopping trip.

So so anticipating !

Redang gonna be fun with the gorgeous beautiful view but then suffering for 10hrs journey.

(:
(:

2010-04-08T20:46:00.002+08:00

Finally got a 1week assignment job, but damn low pay.

Ok, better then nth to help us tide the holiday trip.

Went MOE for an intv today,she said will call us this evening.

BUT NO CALL AT ALL :'(

SIGGHH.

i want that job so badly, damn damn good pay plus nice working environment.

I am really excited for our holiday, at the same time to celebrate our 3yrs anni as well.

tml we are going to suntec for asian fair,if there is nth we will meet charles & go to the chinatown one.

Hopefully, we can confirmed and book tml !

i will be so effing happy !

But we are looking for 3nights but there isnt any available or suitable ones.

Bcus 2 nights is really short and rush.

i wanna get away from singapore and relax with B !

.........

With you around, there isnt any fear. I love the way you do things for me. I love the way you are here for me. Esp being there, sending me for intvs, making sure i'm safe all the time. Once in awhile, touching my face.

I know nth can describe this kind of magical feeling, there is how love is isnt it?

I cant believe its gonna be the 3rd year already.

i'm looking so forward to it and our forth year.

baby you knw what the forth year is huh, i'm not stressing you. But this is a dream and another journey of life for us. I know we can always work hard for what we want.

i love you baby

2010-04-05T21:18:00.003+08:00

One thing on my mind everyday, Our holiday.

Ok, i am facing huge financial crisis now, for once. It feels really horrible. Ok problems with family.

Havent been talking to them, they doesnt seems happy about giving me allowance

Seems like they are cutting allowance for me.

But i cant let this happen bcus i need it to save.

They dont intend to pay for my trip at all.

2Trips to plan for, lucky i have some tiny savings but still not enough.

Busy with job searching to satisfy this 2 trips, tough days.

Anyway last week was a blast !
Tue night caught When in Rome with the 5N1 Girls, JY came to pick Ame so he gave me a ride to SIM.

Khim ended class & we went for dinner with his teammates at AMK.

Stayover at his place & the next morning rushed to SP & SIM for my uni application.

Thurs was the blasting day, went for Kbox with JY, Jan, ZX & Andy. After kbox they all came over to my place while i packed my bag.

Bcus last min decided to ON (Overnight)

Went to Chompchomp for dinner and then ICE CUBE :) Mega loves.

Headed back to JY place, spent the night drinking and playing.

Ok we had less than 2hrs of slp and headed for badminton the next morning.

I felt horrible after so much of drinking.

AND why bcus i had to drink for khim. Isnt it suppose to be the opposite? i'm always drinking for him.

when is he ever drinking for me as my boyfriend? Sigh.

After badminton we headed back home and slept all the way to evening.

Dinner at Waraku with DB cliques and Clash of the titans after, followed by Tau huey as usual.

Sat was 35mths, was suppose to go PIG_NIG & kite flying but was pouring heavily.

went to meet Jy ame zx jan wl bl & spent the whole afternoon standing deciding what to do.

In e end they left for Astons, i didnt want western food so i forced khim for steamboat.

Ok cut it short, i'm in need of a job.

Thurs we are going for cheap cruise hunting, CANT WAIT !!

...............................

I don wish to say anything about this but i wish i feel my importance to you. Bcus once again DB is on top me again.

Well, what else can i do or say but just learn to live with it.

2010-03-31T21:14:00.002+08:00

Something cute happen yday, After baby fallen asleep i couldnt sleep so i was tossing ard and he woke up in his sleep saying come i tug you to bed, peck me on my forehead and said I love you.

The usual routine he does before we always sleep.

And then that didnt happen once but twice.

SOO i think he was used to saying that to me everytime and even in his sleep he says that too.

=.=

BitterSweet

2010-03-31T20:46:00.002+08:00

Sometimes things arnt that sweet as you expect afterall.

Stayovers are nice when its frequent, but when it isnt i feel irritated.

Everytime before sleep we fight we laugh till his sister can hear us and then end up we got mad and quarrel. Somehow its Silly.

But yday this stupid khim made me real mad caused he lose his temper at me, soo i make a big fuss and then he got mad turn on the light and instead apologise, what's the point when he always do wrong things and then say sorry? Soo i told him to sleep outside and this stupid boy really walked out.

I fell asleep and woke up knowing he has fallen asleep, went out woke him up back to the room to sleep.

Anyway our plan was suppose to slack at home but he forgotten he has work and my stuffs were at his place.

BABY you owe more stayoverss ok, esp when there is car and you are free.
You are so mad busy !

Cant wait for Fri for our exercise day, Sat the picnic day.

OK this are just what khim say but i presume it will nvr come through, we shall see !
And also our korean bbq next week :))

GV marina is havin the date night preview at 15bucks with popcorns and spa vouchers next tuesday !
Unfortunately its on a tuesday :(

Its good for couples bcus there's also a talk to see the differences between couples before the show.

Well :(

2010-03-30T15:31:00.003+08:00

when you always wish and want something, and then you get tired of asking or wanting, you will find that you just learn how to just live with it and not wanting anymore instead.
.....................................

i got tired of looking for jobs already alt there is still 3mths away.

Ok, i am busy being bored.

Everyday just meeting khim and slack the whole day at his place.

We havent been going out since awhile, other than just yday movie with his friends.

MR500 is over, HEY its just only the beginning alright.

After MR500 would be his exams and then his preparation for June Race.

When was the last time we had a stayover ?

Alt we are always together but actual spending time together is just so minimal.

Saturday's the 35th

another 1mth to go but yet so not anticipating at all !

2010-03-27T23:26:00.001+08:00

I don't know why, but I just kinda miss you. Alot.

2010-03-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

Confused.

For once i am so stucked on my future path, alt i have finally registered RMIT and then i suddenly felt so regretful. And that SIM certs doesnt seems to be recognise now. What's wrong? i thought that SIM certs was starting to built up in spore and why isit down now ??!

And then now adding on australia certs are getting useless and not recognised by many companies. UOL is the best choice and i knw parents are pushing me to, but i am just afraid that i'm unable to take the stress and i don wanna waste their money. Isit that i have no choice but to choose UOL, somehow it seems that this challenge is kinda fun and a way to learn how to fight this ordeal for my life.

Sigh, i somehow feel that i disappoint them by not having the results They have been bugging me to apply for local U or get back to ICT. But somehow there isnt much interest anymore ! if i follow them and go ahead, i wldnt even be happy or perform any results right ?

For once i really feel so stress over such issues. Terrible headache.

ok, i know i desperately need a job now because money is running out and my 'bangala' bf is waiting for me to support him as well.

Trying to hunt and going for interviews, what best is despite whining complaining, this nice bangala bf still tries to go with me to interviews. I appreciate this very much and its kinda touching too.

AWWW he changed ! he nvr use to complain and whine, now he does all day long. about carrying my bags and me being lazy. BUT stil he does it for me after the complains.

Hell Week

2010-03-20T22:02:00.003+08:00

It's gonna be a hell week, for me. for US.

Bcus pass few weeks baby did not go for Safra training, so he had to this week bcus its the last week. Well, who ask the helpful him agree to row for them. Then add on to double stress for him.

So, today a saturday we didnt spend any much time tgt. except a very short dinner after he ended, we had ICE3 after & headed home. Sometimes it seems so much better when we are out with friends bcus we wld be tgt till wee hours but he will be tired for training the next day. I rather he head home and rest early then. Tomorrow after training he have to go back home to do his projects and there goes the weekend for us, subsequent next week is MR already.

It seems that we meet up almost everyday, but in fact since 123243403 we have spend quality time together alone. Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions, sun burns, work. Esp that wisdom tooth and this funny boy has sun burn on his lips with blisters which was really gross but painful.

i wish that this hell week get over fast, not only the weekends but he has school 4 days this week. Super packed !

Anyway everytime when race is coming up, this will happen and then after race he will be super sweet and nice and then start becoming cold again.

I've been thinking alot, i really do wonder, is he the one who can brings me happiness for the rest of my life. Or rather most importantly, accept me for who i am? love me for who i am? cherish me for who i am? Loving someone includes loving every part of her/him, and to accept every flaws. And if you really have accepted, would you still complain and bring it up?

I used to do that and felt that why isit that this guy who has so much flaws and flaws that i cld nvr accepted or thought i would love this person. Until recently i realised i have really accepted him for who he is. Bcus i no longer think and think why is he like that, or gets really pissed that i hated him so much. Instead, i remind myself of all the wonderful things of him each time i couldnt take it anymore and love him even more.

Is he really the one who can accept me for who i am?

i know that i love you i know that i want to spend my life with you, But i just cant trust that you will love me forever, you may love me now, you may love me before, but can i trust that you will love me for life?

I wish i could put off all the bad feelings away and fully trust you once again

Because you are the man that i love with all my heart, give you all i could to shower you the love, care, protect you when i can. You are the man that shower me with all your love, open your arms to protect me, give me warmth, never fail to make me happy, hold me tight in your arms and i know that you are the one who would always be there for me. Baby i love you, and i can give you my heart that i will always hold u you tight & never leave you alone.

2010-03-16T20:14:00.002+08:00

Stil very in a lazy mode to update anything.
Alright, last sat we all went for steamboat at bugis for wz with jeslyn, enqi, aaron, andy.
Enqi and Aaron had to leave so Andy drove us ard, we went for Tau huey again !
we dapao to laselle and then sad on the fake grass with amazing scenery.

we tried camwhoring, very sad i didnt bring my camera :(

So thus nth nice came out.

Honey had early training so Andy sent us back, he stayed over and woke up freaking early & left for training. Came home after training but caught in the nvr ending heavy rain, went down to fetch him and dinner with family. Daddy sent us home to get the car, we sped for KOI<3 & den shaker fries to get home for transformer BUT it was finishing.

i slept only for 3hrs while he fell asleep so freaking fast, sent daddy to the airport, came home and sent sis to sch. Got breakfast for his family, and unknowingly we slept all the way till evening.

Today i went to get my laptop & this very nice boy of mine last minute told me to meet him at Tampinese. We had lunch and shop ard DEN he saw battlefield 2 and bugged me the whole day telling me all about battlefield, guns. Acting like a soldier in the shopping mall. SILLY can.

THEN i wanted Koi and he drove me to AMK to get them and send me home, while he left for sch :)

I cldnt take it and texted daddy, weather there is extreme warm at 34degrees plus dusty. Felt so much better after msging him. Still, i miss him.

Cant wait for Friday Sentosa, give me good sunny sun pls.

Trying out

Ok Andy's good at self camwhoring

2010-03-15T22:29:00.001+08:00

horrible feeling.

I know I'm behaving like a child but I just can't help it.. I know I'm someone who isn't always at home, fun and leisure all come first but I am a super daddy girl

Since young I have always been dependent on parents. Mum does everything, dad is always there to protect and give me the best.

Ever since few years ago, things changed. Alt ever since young mom have been ultra mega bias towards me but I have gotten used to it. Then daddy will always be there backing me up and understanding me.. Alt he is someone who doesn't knws how to express his feelings but still he gave us the best nvr fail to say no to us..
Despite the problems between him and mom,he still put up a strong front. Alt I feel that the act they are putting up infront of us is so fake but the least I know daddy nvr wanna see us hurt or caught in between.

Alt how much I dislike and despite her for treating this family esp dad like this,I still respect her as a mother.

its just a short 4days and daddy will be back but because cambodia is so dangerous I am so worried. its a strong fear I have that I may lose him or something, I always have this very strong feeling that he can't take those things happening at home and just walk out on us. Adding on knowing that he always have that thought.

This kind of feeling is really horrible. I rmb once he just have to go KL for a night and I hug and cried. Now that I have learn to control my feelings but the moment I step home I just can't help it

Daddy come home soon safetly, I love you

2010-03-11T10:39:00.003+08:00

The recent scandal news has been such a disgrace.
i don understand why isit that human cant treasure and cherish what they have, the wonderful family & wife given but yet abuse them.

Before even doing or starting anything, did you ever thought of yr wife ?

And yet stil saying you love yr wife , if you love her in the first place why did u ever do this to hurt her ?

Baby told me few days ago about his teammate having rumors with another gal in the team. And his gf went to ask baby about tt gal and stuffs. It is wrong isnt it ? to ask about yr own bf's thing behind his back? Dont you even trust him ?

But still i believe the guy was at fault, he was really close with that gal and didnt even told his gf.

I RLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

WHY

why cant one treasure what is given to you, if you really did had something with the gal,just tell yr gf and not hide here and there.

And can you imagine the hurt to know yr guy has cheated on you ? someone that you love and also love you once BEFORE ?

ok, maybe i'm overexaggerating towards this issue, but i really feel sad for those victims.

mrTay u better not let me catch you hiding anything from me or any scandals rumors. you guys always thinks that by not telling us is always better lest we get worked up, overthink or make a big fuss.
But little did you knw the more u hide the more worst it gets if we found out.

Rmb there was once he hide from me tt he exchanged numbers with a GIRL on fb and that girl accidentally ringed him.
That was the worst we had, i got so mad that we didnt talk the whole night,i just went to slp and him cldnt even sleep but flood my hp.

no one likes behind hidden from things be it the past, yday i found out something, it may be nth to you. And you got guilty just because i was quiet. In fact, no. i didnt felt anything for it.

But this few days makes me really wonder, what was it that had held us moving since last year, was it really that magical strong love we have?
Or isit just for the sake that we had already gotten use to each other?

Things changed, and it changed really fast.

i have to admit that i am someone that gets sick and tired of things real easy if there isnt anything new.

days now are just so plain, unlike the past despite everynight we still treasure the moments and enjoy the feeling of us in each other arms. BUT now everyday is just like a routine, we go out have meals with friends, chit chat and end the night quickly. Even when we go out, the feeling of holding each other isnt there.
At much i want to remise the feeling of the loving us in the past but the feeling just isnt right. why.

we missed out so damn much of celebrations, valentine's day, anniversaries. due to financial but i believe without money there is still other way we cld do things together romantically. But we din even tried.

physical contacts get lesser and lesser.

Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions.

at times when i wished to build things up once again, but at the thought of building it up all alone demoralize me down.

Seeing you getting tired and you limping around yday, amazingly it somehow didnt get me down like i use to, After thinking i realise i was just numb, numb to all your hurts aches and tiredness. all i could was just qns myself why isit that you cld nvr just be like any ordinary person with no aches or hurts.
Perhaps i'm tired and numb of all this worrying for you.

But no worries, i figured out that despite all this deep deep down i knw i still love you like i use to alt i dont knw why i get so damn irritated with you now and then. And i knw you do still care and love me esp with those msges you send me before after work and training.

i always believe the the love we had was nvr easy to come, so i will always treasure what we have

2010-03-08T22:56:00.004+08:00

*This isnt anything of starting a fight , i just need somewhere to let everything out, dont read if you dont want to*

i don wish to quarrel or start a fight

You disappoint me.

From the very starting you shld already knw hw pampered how spoilt am i. So pls stop gng on and on how spoilt and pampered i am. Saying once is enought.

This is the way i am.

I din force you to accept me, i din force you to love me. didnt you knw it well from the start?

This is what i am blessed with.

AND i can say i am very proud and happy to be who i am

and not gettin a job during this vacation bcus after whole 3yrs of studies all i want is to relax and enjoy before moving on to another journey of study life. While you graduated and waiting for SIM did i forced you to get a job right after?

BUT yet you are going ard ranting that i dont want to get a job.
Forcing me to go get one and also emphasising and agreeing to others that if i don work don bother about you and stop you from working and complaining that you have no time for me.
If you don even wish to spend time or give time for me or even want to, i'm fine. I can tell you i wont bother a single bit about you and wanting to spend time.

I understand the suituation of either one of us having a job bcus our expenses are very high.
AND also you have endless training coming up.

SO WHAT, telling me that you have no time for me.
Does that means work+endless training 7days a week full and i cant even make a noise that i want to see you.
AND if that one day happen, it means i don even feel a thing for you.

I knw you love me i knw you care BUT at the least tt i had thought in yr shoes, HAVE YOU ? and tt after so long you jus keep emphasising bcus i am spoilt and pampered ? AND that my parents don even scold me a single bit, so you saying bcus they dont and you must do it ?

HOW WLD I FEEL?

i am yr girlfriend to remind you, someone you used to love. And nw u treating me like this saying such things to me repeatedly makes me damn bloody disappointed and hurt. Using that harsh tone on me and saying things about slapping, you yourself knw that hw much you cant take it if someone slap you. and i can tel you if someone ever slap me, the consequenses wld b hell.

It makes me feel YOU changed so much
It makes me feel that YOU don even miss me a single bit despite yr busy schedule
Things isnt the way it use to be anymore.

IT hurts me so much when all you emphasise is me disturbing you and stopping you from working and agreeing with them. i knw i did said even hurting words to you but i used them all in a joking tone but you gave me all those hurtful harsh tone.
I mentioned let me rest and i wil start searching for jobs even if i don don worry i will keep myself occupied and nt bother about you a single bit.

But stil i knw you love me

2010-03-07T10:40:00.003+08:00

Ever since the last day of sch, i have been so lazy.
Lazy to even upload photos
Lazy to even use and on the com
Lazy to blog
Lazy to find a job

A very bad sign

5mths of vacation, i don even feel like working but enjoy and relax before another journey of sch life.
Then again, what can i do this 5mths ? i'm gonna turn into a pig or hippo or something by rotting everyday just eating play sleep.

5mths without any aim or goals.

But i'm just so very lazy to hunt for jobs.

Adding on if this carry on, no extra income for savings, for overseas trips, and khim wants me to support him huh.

Ever since CNY til now, the texas crazes is still going on, last sat was pub with classmates and we slept at 5am and woke up in the afternoon for texas with EQ,Aaron,Jeslyn,Gwen coming over.

Fri night we all met up for supper at Selegie, Chicken rice, tau huey, AND wasted 1hr or more just discussing on the next location.
And decided on Holland Swensens. Four cars 9 of us.

Yday night again, picked EQ & Jeslyn and met Charles for dinner for Ampang Yong Tau Fu <3 :)

went to charles place and play TEXAS, Aaron,Gwen,Andy came after. OH we lost 20bucks! and i lost 17bucks for MJ on friday.
Supper at Thomsom Roti prata next.

Next sat buffet for wenzheng coming back.

i always tel khim, our schedule nvr allows us to gain both side of the world. When we get close to one side the other side gets so far apart tt its been long since we hanged out with bestestlove.
Even if it was hanging out with any side of the grp we still had to always leave early. BUT this 2 weeks has been so much fun and happy that we neednt have to rush back home or so bcus of his wisdom tooth MC.

But then its back to normal next week, MR is coming up. AGAIN nvr ending training and AS USUAL rowing for Safra THEN even extra training on top of the nvr ending training right ? I stil rmb last yr we had a big fight over SUCH SAME issue again, SP & SAFRA bcus of 6days training.

im tired of this same issue.

Next week even worst, khim is busy workin frm mon-fri with classes and trainings at night. And then sat sun with his that nvr ending training.

This is one reason why i shld go get a job.

arrgghhhh

I need do get many things done first,
* Remove my damn gels nails
* manicure
* pedicure
* waxing

2010-03-01T22:35:00.001+08:00

at this time falling sick, high up and down fever, headache, nauseous.

Limit reach after so many weeks.

Nt bad huh, when 2 sleepless night it will all start acting up.

Exams ended, marks 3years of poly.
Lotsa fun celebrations to be updated.

I wanna get well soon bcus I haven even had enough fun yet plus I've gt mad craving for korean food for few mths badly !!

Honey's not auto! After accompanying him for so many days and wed ahead after his wisdom tooth extraction again. Still need me ask :((((((

BUT somethin miracle happen today, gonna update about it tml :)))

LOVE ya honey alt you always irritate me but when I'm sick you are here taking good care of me with lotsa love :)

It will be my turn on wed :)

Korean food!!

2010-02-18T14:24:00.003+08:00

Chu3

shall say the best of all. Stil another busy day.

Baby came over in the morning, FY came over too.

Afternoon we headed back to baby's place and help out here and there, picked his Aunt to his place and we went to Walter's place. Went to EQ place's before that to meet EQ and Aaron.
Played MJ and won 12bucks :)

Had lunch+dnr there and baby and i headed back home again as his aunts were al over. Was damn hungry and ate at home.
After tt we headed back to my home again as my relatives was over.

We went to airport to meet them to send WZ off after tt, and had popeye for supper and headed back home.

3days of cny is over without even given a chance to catch my breath.
BUT stil i enjoyed it.

I guess i have to say that i love my family. AND i love baby's family too.

the sweet couple

the 2 kids

Thanks baby for driving me ard despite yr tired-ness. we both enjoyed this CNY so much and also wish for more many yrs to come. Can you believe its the 3rd cny tgt, unbelievable. HOW amazing we gt tgt. The best part of you was accepting me for who i am, being so spoilt and pampered with the so unacceptable temper but stil you love me for who i am. I'm glad i have you in my life giving me the best and the unreplacable love and care.

I love you, eternally.

2010-02-18T14:09:00.002+08:00

CHU 2

Usual visiting to Nanny's place, AND i just realise that the Yishun unfound murderer . one of them was just nearby my old place. AND uncle even saw the blood scene. That was so eerie..

AND it makes me feel so unsafe that spore is so dangerous !

WAIT, did i mention on the eve of CNY mum strike lottery.
On thurs we went to AMK and bought some of those decorations back and we saw 4numbers there, so i wanted to buy but cldnt find any singapore pools till sat.

Mum bot it without helping me, so i wanted to share with her but she rejected me

SOO, i checked and it OPEN on starters !

Well, isnt my luck. But its just so lucky !

Ok back to Chu2 , after nanny's place, picked baby up @ my place cus he left the car there and headed to grandma hse for lunch. Oh hope baby enjoyed.

And started usual visiting all ard, with baby with me :))

Tiring though.

After everything ended, dad drop us home to get the car and we headed to Aaron's place after picking andy and michael up.
Played majhong and Blackjack and went for Supper at Bedok Simpang.

That was like the dark side of spore and that bloody waiter. Ok i shall nt elaborate much but he was so damn rude when he was at fault and even showed the hand sign asking us to THINK.

Oh well, F*** him.

Send Michael and Wen Zheng home after that, reached home at 3am.

it started getting exhausting after 3days of sleeping at 4 am.
We travelled to Bedok twice, hougang 5times, amk 2 times.
Crazy huh.

it was so so busy tt i din get any chance to even take a photo with baby

2010-02-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

the holidays are over, Too rush and busy to even catch a breath and enjoy.
But still it was real tiring and enjoyable. Wait til i update the wonderful 3days, oh 4days to be actual of less den 4hrs of rest consecutive.

Friday was the 3rd renuion at Mum's(grandma). In the day, met up with honey to walk ard and lunch. He went for his lesson in the night. After dinner we went to Chong Pang to had the CNY feeling, baby ended class and picked me up.

Rushed al the way dwn to Cineleisure for the movie Valentine day with his batch db ppl as Wz was leaving 3weeks for Brunei. We sat far away from them as they booked the tickets much earlier.

went to ECP Carl's Jnr for supper AND there we sat all the way til 4am! and slept only at 5am. Woke up 8plus 9 to acc dad and home for spring cleaning, Grandma place for usual renuion.
Slept at 2plus and woke up 8plus.

Prepared in a rush and out for usual visiting.
Night as usual baby came over to Grandaunt's place, gambled , sent cousin's home and we went to Waiseng's place. Reach home at 4am AGAIN .

Woke up 8plus the next morning.

wil be back for Chu2 :)

a MUST have every yr, nth beats then homemade

compare tt bowl and this huge lou hey

Greatest grandma

2010-02-14T02:10:00.001+08:00

u jus nvr fail to make me upset

2010-02-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

I'm so no happy :(

I wanna catch fireworks and i realise that i havent been seeing them for like damn god 102030231029 years or mths can. I missed last yrs National's day one and New yr. SO means the last one was 2008 national day right ?

ArGGHHHHHhhh

AND i just gt reminded there is fireworks :(

AND i rmb-ed each time we din go to catch fireworks, once was he was too LAZY, 2nd was traffic jam and i rmb-ed i told him i wanna catch fireworks on CNY, he said ok. I replied : CFM CFM in e end there is sure excuses from you.

AND ITS VALENTINE DAY !!

i envy, ENVY ENVY, others get to countdown to CNY & also Valentine

YOU think i am nt tired.
I AM SUPER TIRED

BUT i wanna spend the first min of valentine with you and bestestLOVE.

NO celebrations NO presents its fine.

BUT even wanna see you also CANT

ARGHH

i don wish to talk or reply you when u knw hw m i feeling
Everything is just you say can i say cant.
When yrs gets longer everything FALL

DAMN LAHS

2010-02-13T16:12:00.002+08:00

Why are guys so hopelessly so UN-romantic huhhh.

Doesnt have to be roses or expensive items, but just being sweet to you on special days, being nice paying extra attention, holding yr hand in movies while watching romance movie or even sneaking kisses or huggs.

BUT Guys just doesnt understand.

Instead of being sweet, they disturb u all day long turns you down esp yr heart.

ARGH

GUYS out there, plss learn to be romantic to make yr gals happpyyy luhhhh

Which gals doesnt like being surprise or getting sweet romance here and there

2010-02-10T22:17:00.002+08:00

Dead tired.

So deadly.

Lesson at 9am, rushed report.
Rushed for lab all the way from 12-6.

In the end, we gave up what we cldnt do.

This is rly mad.

Having to prepare a job intv and end of class test tml.

Adding on with a bad night, argh.
It was suppose to be a good dinner with you and also forgetting all the stresses for the moment but it turn out so bad. I was just to tired and sick of everything and to also argue.

In fact, i just don wish to care.

I just don understand WHY. Why always says this and that and then?
Why when you knw what is happening instead of consoling or makin it better ,you made it worst by makiing me even more angry.

WHY always just ask or say things that you want to do and when i say no you take it for real. Don ALL girls always says NO but mean YES ?

Oh SHIT lah, cny is coming and i barely see any time to spend with you til exams are over. WHY WHY WHY don you always don treasure time we have . And spoil it.

ARGH, i'm really tired.

Each time i feel so love and wanting to show, appreciate treasure everything of you, you have to ruin this. So is this a sign of telling me that i shldnt even feel specially love.
Alt i knw you care for me so much but, i wish that you don take things for granted.

sometimes i wonder why are all guys just so hopelessly un-romantic !
Whatever we say they take it for real !

2010-02-09T11:53:00.004+08:00

4 more days to CNY.

I hearts this yr CNY , the mood of CNY is so strong.

Bcus the preparation is so busy.

Sch work, its finally the last week, i'm even happier.

When thurs end it will be even joyful, bcus al i left is 2 paper :)

The weekend passed so fast !
Friday lab was full so we ended up doing a lil on the report, and khim came to pick me and went to his place to do our reports.

Sat was another busy day, woke up so early to spring clean again. Met khim at SIM, park the car at SP & took a bus to Town to trim my fringe. Rushed to SP for his fren bday party but it was late so we headed to Punggol for Bestlove Renuion. The restaurant was big, unique seperate bbq and steamboat. Best of all, it was charcoal BBQ. No oil = less fats.

headed home to cut sis cake but in the end she din came back, so khim changed my bedsheets for me :) while i bathed.

bestestlove went for KTV while we din cause we were on tight budget.

So, we headed back home instead. I was so tired out that we both just slept through the night straight away and woke up in the morning for dad's worker to come collect the sofa.
went to pick cousin and bought breakfast to my place.
Rested & we headed to town again .

Town was ovecrowded, and we walked for far east to Clark Quay Central :)
Ok, it wasnt that far actually.
On the way Istana was having their every first sunday of the mth guard changing parade. I was so fascinated by the SAF performance and march out. We walked and chase after them. AND th best thing was the band was playing CNY song instead of those usual march music.

we went to Penisular to look for the custom made shop but was closed.

Reached Central finally and had a wonderful renuion dinner at Tung Lok with his family.

Consecutive 2 days was so so sinful with al the gd food. i am trying to slim down and also cut down all for CNY. 4 more days, can i do it ?

Yday managed to end everything in sch at 1plus, again met khim in town, he went to had his hair down and i had my eyebrows trimmed.

Walked from centrepoint to ION & Far east, he got his pants, i got some accessories here and there.

3 consecutive days going to Town !

4 more days, 2 renuion dinner to go.

1 meeting,1 job intv,1 end of class test,2 written paper.

2010-02-03T22:32:00.003+08:00

wHEEeeee.

MEGA HAPPY!

2 PBIL done, left report and Q&A
1 more PBIL to go this fri.

FYP report rush madness, argh.

Exam-fever, mental stress,afraid there isnt adequate time. Tel me how to organise my time pls.

Even time for honey is so damn short !

OH FIRST,

HAPPY 33 MTHSARY BABYYYYYY

hey hey 4 more mths to go to the big 3 !

Oh well, poor honey had to accompanied me the whole day or rather he was entertating himself with my doudou, had lunch with the classmates and back to work again.

i knw i had been neglecting the whole day ! he was all alone self entertaining and i spoke to him so little ! when i was finally cleared with everything, he had to go for sch and i headed home. Pretty yucks right. But i appreciate him for being there.

Tired out for the day, overslept, rushed for sch and had been doing almost all things the whole day. tired tired.

and i kinda miss honey badly alt he was with me the whole day but so near yet so far bcus i cldnt even spare a min to sit down with him, all i cld was just give him a pat on his shoulder or something once in a while.

Sigh.

Luckily, i am nt gng for lecture and am able to spend some time in the day and he goes for training after tt while i go for my gel nails for CNY.

Fri again i doubt i get to spend any time with him , nt even a few mins bcus the deadline for Firewall is on monday which is really rush.

i yearn so much to rest on him and forget all the stress just for that moment.

I'm sure very much honey has been reading my blog but giving ignorance to my request :(
Or like always he dont frequent my blogs, facebooks and update about me at all ! DAMN
Oh well, i dislike getting rejections and it takes real hard for me to actually ask for something.

tt is why some things nvr move on for me.

2010-02-02T22:17:00.002+08:00

i wanna fall asleep embrace in your warm arms, you waking in the middle of night to make sure the blanket is placed properly, me waking up to make sure you you are asleep well, you waking up in the morning, kissing my forehead telling me "baby, its time to wake up".

:)

i miss.

When can i have this again ?

2010-02-01T23:54:00.003+08:00

Blame it on my damn bloody forgetfull brain.

Reminded myself upteen times I have to pay tt damn bills by today. Left the card in e car insists on gng to get but assure myself to remind I have to go to a AXS machine by hook or by crook. Dilly dally and realized only at 11plus.

40bucks for late charge and I really panic . On top of tt 200 outstanding bill it means alot me

I gt into a horrible mood & gt mad at baby & he run downstairs to pay it within few mins to 12
and he is angry nw .

Still thanks alot baby

2010-02-01T23:17:00.003+08:00

1 more week to CNY which means all deadlines. Fyp report esp & all the pbil
anyway have been rather pissed off this few weeks but I keep telling myself it is gonna be over real soon so treasure !
But still something real mad, what is grp or teammates when you are nvr included or known what is gng on. So do you expect me to ask u every single hr or day millions of qns guessing have u done this or that. And in e end claiming I haven done anything

And pls ppl there is something in this world call handphone SMS call or email, nt only MSN exists !

Thanks it is all going to end man!

Anyway CNY preparation is kinda tedious with nvr ending spring cleaning , fitting in all appts to busy sch load . Pedicure finally done, gel nails this thurs, waxing nx week. Mad busy !

This week has lesser time for baby, jus nw he pick me frm sch, he went to take his required by sch swim test and he brought me to ECP for dnr. BUT BUT we were start in the horrible terrible jam for a total of 1 1/2 hr! Reached east coast only at 9pm,and starved. Had a great dinner to made it up.

I miss having to spend time after sch or every fri tgt but it's always packed with schwork or either baby has class. I miss stayovers with late nightouts. This sat is bestestlove renuion, sure gonna end real late. Baby u knw what to do plssss? U knw hw much I miss spending quality time with you. Pretty Mega mega pls :( :( :( :( :(

2010-01-26T21:30:00.003+08:00

O MY GOODNESS

My throat is acting up again, having very severe sore throat. Mum said it must be some allery that my body is weak so whenever something trigger it start acting up. BUT i have been resting well. Baby said i have been slping too late :(

It must have been stress :(

i'm feeling so damn stressed up, everything is crashing down. Leaving aside FYP yet ! OH MY! every single day is packed fully.
Falling sick is the last thing i wish for.
But its giving me trouble nw :(

Sighh sighh sighh

PBIL, 3 to complete. Fcuking Fcuking Stress up
One job intv and meeting to come up for CSW

Exams coming, less than 2weeks, first PAPER !

CNY and then 2 more paper.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yday was wonderful day out with honey! he came to sch to pick me and we head down ti Changi Airport for Popeyes ! we set aside only 30bucks for the whole day :) So.. the games started. we hang ard, cam whore and headed down to Tampinese for our Mee Sua and Pork bun. we nearly over use our budget bcus we spend freaking 7bucks for 4 tiny chocos ! Crazy.

It was just a simple day out but it was so relaxing leaving aside all those workloads.

Adding on we quarrelled on sunday again and it was all bcus of spending time with our parents.

Someone said we are xin fu de and it looks so silly to quarrel over this.

well...
Again last night we had arguement about our families again, after marriage and stuffs.

Thinking back, it feels kinda warm.

2011 :))

2010-01-24T17:12:00.001+08:00

Good enough, i knw you well.

Expected.

how to keep it going on

2010-01-23T17:52:00.003+08:00

how to ever keep a relationship working on.

Friends ard me are always complaining and stressing about single and those attached need nt worry about all this.

But, don they knw that to keep a r/s moving on isn't as easy?

Esp when that r/s has been moving on for long.

Sigh.

the outer always seems so beautiful but deep in it always leave me thinking and feeling that things are just falling apart.

When the other party doesn't even bother bout spicing and improving things.

It feels rather upsetting

But still I had to live with it and move on.

Sigh.

When u knw busy days are ahead you long even more to spend all free time tgt.

Things to do.

2010-01-21T20:49:00.003+08:00

i have freaking so many things piling up and to-do list.

1) ~~Book manicure pedicure~~
2) Get another set clothes for new year
3) Prolly another pair of shoe?
4) A new bag, maybe?
5) Book appointment for all my waxing
6) Book appointment for my brow threading
7) Get baby his new year boxers
8) Pay my freaking EX bills !
9) ~~Spring cleaning~~

Sch work all to be clear all before CNY and all the dreadful reports :( sucks big time, after cny week is final year exam and the last exam of my poly life ! *yipee!*

Anywa some little updatess, last sun was Jan 21st bday, 1st 21st of the year. It was mad fun! Yet tiring, spring cleaning since early morning. Met baby and headed to Gombak, jy picked us and we went to collect the "weight of a laptop" cake.

we prepared the bbq items and started bbq. It was delicious and fun ! Esp we were al drinking, XO, Jack Daniel.

Fondue even loves after bbq!

K-singing.

Counting down to 12am

Eating of cake.
Ultra huge that jan had to finished 1/4 of it

Played indian pokers and drink.

Mad cold.

Some were drunk here and there..

cldnt take the coldness, baby & i left to cab home. Dead tired, concast till next morning for Grandma's lunch.
Lunch was alright, first time bf meeting dad's side. Kinda awkward. It must have been real terrible for honey. Hope he felt alright. Perhaps after another few warm-up session would be better. Await for CNY then :))

With lots and lots of hongbao :)) Baby yeah ?? Promise to bring each other ard alright.

HUAT!

Life getting tougher with graduation and den applying for uni. Seems tough. Oh well.
Family nt getting any better esp handful sister giving nth but trouble.
Cant seems to communicate. Still hot and cold.

Bf as well, i cant seems to talk seriously with him. We cant seems to have any heart-to-heart talk.
why isit he doesnt shows and tell me how he feels or rather assure me my importance in his life, and how much i mean to him ?
why.why.why.why.why.
:(

i do feel care and love, BUT i needa knw hw much i mean to you esp in yr life.
MR.Boyfriend?

i wish i had this much of moneyy$$$$$

15 Golden Fengshui tips to understanding woman ( very accurate)

2010-01-18T19:56:00.002+08:00

From www.fengshuiqueen.com

“A successful woman do not need a man”

1)When a woman says “no” she means “yes” as she is shy to say so.

2) When a woman gets angry it is better to leave her alone for a while.

3) Always apologise to a woman even if she is in the wrong and you will be alright.

4) Every woman wants to look beautiful, so praise her.

5) Be sensitive to her needs. Ask her has she taken her dinner.

6) Be sensitive to her new clothes, make up etc and she will appreciate that you care for her every day. Do not take her love for granted.

7) When a woman is in love, it shows in her eyes and smile.

8) When a woman shops, do not accompany her, unless you have the time.

9) If you buy her a most precious gift that she really like, she will appreciate you forever.

10) A woman is usually very sensitive and emotional while a man is usually not. This is because the ying and yang are not balanced. And that is why they attract.

11) When a woman is angry, she expects you to know it. So pretend !

12) A woman loves it when you show that you remember her birthday.

13) A woman loves it when you say “I love you” many times a month. Men usually take it for granted. But to a woman, speech counts not just action.

14) A woman can give you everything when she really loves you. But please do not exploit this weakness in a woman.

15) A shy man will never win a fair woman’s heart. So please tell a woman as she might be waiting for you to call or to tell her the three little words.

its just another test

2010-01-17T17:38:00.005+08:00

The best part of after every quarrel is making up.

But thinking back on the nonsense that we jus fight and be unhappy about is just isnt worth it.

fighting and quarreling early in the morning seriously is a bad start. Tell me if i'm being unreasonable or what. Every weekdays are just so busy for you rushing for classes and trainings. All we spend time is just after school, that very short few hrs and u rush off.

Why does it always have to be you leaving halfway or always just that very few hrs u give me.

And if dad was to ask me where are u going after Grandma's lunch, do i have to tell him u need to go home to look after yr dog ?

Its so tough on you to acc me for shopping with my parents? Den how long have we not been goin to town, or catching a movie. Ever since, all we does spent time is nth much but being home or dinner with yr parents. But yet always wanting you to eat or spend time with my parents its like something so tough.

alt i do whine complain of always being home and jus spending time with yr parents .. But yet each time u ask for me to look for u at home .. i don make any noise but go over.

Yeah, i feel so upset each time u jus ask me why isit whatever u do or don do is wrong. But in the first place, before u even agree or say anything ? did u just even thought of me ?

i knw u must have been elated tt u neednt have to go walking ard with my family and that was a great excuse because yr mom told u to.

Its very much upset that u don even bother about me feeling anything.

i knw u are tired, i am tired too.

This few days have been over just the same issue of spending time tgt and nth else but spending time. Back to the same that its always forever just ME wanting to spend time and asking for more.

I knw everything there is always Give & Take.

cal me spoilt or pampered or whatever, i don care. i knw i have been always wanting this and that my way. BUT didnt i nt give to ?

Isnt it fair that we spent equal time with our family ?

Isnt it what we are suppose to do tgt?

Isnt it that we shld put each other in good books to our family?

Our temper always caused us to quarrel more, but, i knw unlike you i have been always losing my temper but no one likes being told what to do. No one likes being walked off. I knw i do that all the time and u always get mad at it. But today the one who walked off was you, the one who said to go was also you. That was what made me so much madder.

i apologize that i gave you cold shoulder through out the journey out. And whenever after quarrels you are always the one who make it up by showering me with love.

But its been long since i have heard you said sorry.

Appreciation and owning to mistakes is always what that makes one another feels better.

the very least, i'm glad tt we knw how much we care and love each other and always saving the best for each other.

i keep wondering was it ever a wrong thing to bring baby for today Grandma's lunch. bcus of how conservative they are. After so long, finally, dad's side have all knw baby.

I hope it has been a right decision

2010-01-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

You make me feel how hypocrite you are.

I cant believe a person can just change and all along for 7years i was all wrong about you.

Somehow it seems that to act as though a friend like you hadnt exists would b best.

Or perhaps someone just hi-bye.

2010-01-14T22:27:00.002+08:00

very so no happy.

Again. I don likes it when baby has early training ONCE again :(

Fri 6am-8am
Sat 6am-4pm

Sat pissed me off the most !

When he is tired out, he will be in super damn bad mood and easily irritated.
Sat we still have to stayover at Jieyu's place for Jan's bday celebration
And den sun Grandma bday lunch.

So no happy with sat, abit too exaggerating right ?
are they superman or something ??

Main point : when he is tired, he is a total different person. A crappy mega bad temper and sensitive irritation

SUCKS

In your eyes

2010-01-14T16:38:00.000+08:00

吃醋撒娇生气耍赖是你的专利让你来

疼我爱我让我喂我这些小事情让你来

只要让我(你)愉快就算耍冷

下不了台我全都愿意都是因为爱

what are friends ?

2010-01-12T19:11:00.002+08:00

What are friends ? or rather what are true friends ?

someone ask me today, who are u closer to.

Ame or Reb?

SOMEHOW this caught me ..

Bcus things have change so much.

A friend to me is someone who would care for you and understand u.

And yes,everyone changes so much.
I'm glad that bec has change to understand and care much now.

On the other hand i'm kinda disappointed when i always tot the person closer to u isnt at all. Much disappointment. Esp when u hear so much things ard.

Real real disappointment and then it seems like just a hi-bye friend tt's all

Whenever u lose something u gain something, u can never have both side of the world.
I'm glad somehow there is still someone who stil cared.

2010-01-10T21:26:00.002+08:00

Hurrays!

SPINNOVEX 2010 HAS FINALLY END

it was hell, esp having to wake up at 6 every morning, guarding the booth. When alone. And den wait til 5pm.

AND most of all, cant even spend time with khim cus he has lesson daily !

But still thanks to Ame for coming down everyday, acc me and bec as well.
Khim coming down to acc me.

Appreciated!

If nt i guess i had died cus of boredom and lonliness.

Alright, alt we din get any awards. it was still a great experience. It has not end yet, report coming up.

I wish time flies, exams comes, graduation and tt's the end of poly life.

FYP report gonna be another challenge again. Jiayous !

Anyway, the past few days was just spent with khim after Spinnovex, best of all we went to Ikea to had salmon and meatballs !

Alt i had to bear through the crowds and long rides home alone and most of all missed my 7pm drama. Well.. worth it.

Yday after everything we had Seoul Garden with his parents. Ultra wrong choice, i had nvr liked seoul garden. We smelled like bbq from top to toe. i cldnt stand that stench. We headed back to baby's place and showered. i was dead tired out for the whole four days.
Reached hm only after 12am.

Today was jus drivin after damn long 2mths.
khim drove us to paya lebar to shop while he when sitting ard to rest. Thanks baby!

oh well i still miss spending time with him.

After dnr at geylang with my family, we parted :(

Dinner was great, beef hor fun, oyster , frog leg, Splendid !

First post of 2010

2010-01-04T20:47:00.008+08:00

was so lazy to update so this gonna be a long long post.

New year's Eve khim and I brought the dear gal to east coast park, prepared pasta and we ate by the sea. However, we are always unlucky as it started pouring. And each time we go to East coast it wil pour.

Headed back to wash up and everything and then back to khim's place. We watched tv, played ard, and headed out for dinner at 515A :) We had crab, snow fish and others. It was a a satisfying meal ! But we will so full and bloated bcus his parents cldnt eat much of crab.

we were supposed to prepare to head out for fireworks, but heard the traffic was horrible and being a impatient person i cant stand being i n jams for long. So, we went to East Coast ( Yes, again ! ) Hk cafe to meet van,sa and dan. BUT before we cld reach, the traffic there was even horrible. It was all jammed up and to find a parking lot was even worst. I was so pissed off ! We ended up counting down just right after we got off the car.

The night after that was even worst, we had a quarrel, a big fight, about something so ridiculous. But it was something real bad that i felt hurt bcus he showed his temper at me. We were both at huge fault. we ended the night only at 4am.

Having to get up early the next morning was even torture, waited for parents to pick us up and headed in to malaysia. Went to the new jusco again, had my hair trimmed this time. Khim gt himself 2 Levi's Top for CNY which costed 300rm.

Dinner was at the kelong with delicious seafood again. My tummy is getting wider i knw, have been having seafood, crabs for 2 days. Suppers since christmas daily. I really need to shed those kilos.

On saturday, we went for his family BBQ gathering and again we ate non-stop !

i feel so guilty and sinful on all this food.

ARGH.

03.01.10 Happy 32 MTHSARY honey ! :)

Khim went for wedding lunch, early morning me and sis finally went to get our jab. Eventually due to some reasons, it was unsure whether sis is able to proceed with it. So we delayed for quite some time. The side effects was horrible, arms was sore and painful. I went for my massage and headed to meet khim. I wasnt feeling very good and was having a bad temper.

we caught Alvin and The chipmunks at PS again :)) Went to city square and had our dinner. Again, we ate sooo MUCH !

Time flies, it has been 32 mths. So unbelievable. we had been through so much, and it wasnt easy for us to get through it all. After so much we cld still hold on tightly. It's really amazing.
Alt the road ahead is long and tough, but being clear of what we want. I'm sure we are able to hold on tight and walk through the journey together.

i'm grateful that i have him in my life always holding on to me. And most importantly to accept me for who i am, being so spoilt and pampered, and of course my bad temper. It wasnt easy, he always say how bad my temper is and yes childish. But stil he cld accept me for who i am, cont to love and care unconditionally for me.
Both of our temper are just so equally bad but we cld still leave that aside and love each other. It wasnt easy at all.

It was always that warmth he gave me, the arms that he always hold me through and something that i can never ever find. To make me feel safe, with him i no longer become afraid of anything bcus i knw he will always reach out to protect me first

I ~~hope~~ know we will hold on stronger and fight through the end :))

Bcus the love and strong bond we had was never easy.

Thanks for everything

I love you baby

the dearest gal
Just all for you

My 2010 resolutions?

For once this year i had none !

Perhaps....

1) get my driving license SOON ( i have been delaying for ages)

2) Get into SIM successfully

3) A wonderful 21st celebration with all my loves ones

4) Plan well for our 2011

5) A lovely 3yrs anni

6) Understand baby MOREE

7) Be a better matured gf ( BUT FIRST U HAVE TO BE ONE :) )

8) Stay home more often ( I try)

9) Quickly get a job for 5mths before Uni

10) Earn enough money to bring my boy on the cruise by end of this year

Spinnovex is coming, it sucks ! Being so stressful and rushed :(

Khim's having lesson every single night till sat, Spinnovex end on Sat night.

SOOO... Absence makes the heart founder ! :))

i'm feeling upset bcus daddy is leaving for cambodia next week ! And away for a week.

AND this time it feels even worst then khim leaving for Penang.

I wonder how am i gonna survive without daddy being ard..

NOW i'm starting to feel so so painful and tears welding up :(

Last time when daddy goes to KL only for 1day i cried like baby, what about this time :(((((

Can daddy don go pls :'(

Lovely christmas and boxing day

2009-12-29T21:20:00.001+08:00

Before i suffer from STM, let me share about the wonderful christmas we had.

Early morning on Christmas eve, met khim and we went to Vivo to caught Alvin & the chipmunks, went to Dan office and headed to pick Liyun up.

Then we went to IMM to did some drinks and stuffs and the log cake and set off to Changi V hotel. The hotel was gorgeous, esp the view with the rooftop swimming pool.
we had our dinner at Lemongrass at E hub, there was only jas, rey and yun. Cabbed back after dnr to swim but it was freezing freaking damn cold. I cldnt stop trembling and had to went back to shower.

waited for the rest to be back and started our countdown. The hotel was having countdown party and the atmosphere was great. we had our champanges and screams of countdown.
Our dear dan cldnt make it back in time but he sped and ran back.. Well, he tot he had scratched the car so all of us went down to the carpark with our champange glasses jus to check the car.

when we gt back, we cut the log cake and started our christmas carols :)) sang for almost 2hrs and it was real fun !

Up next we had our christmas exchange, this yr was something different, instead of getting gifts for all 7 of us we got only 1. So, each of us have to write 7 different type of presents we want. Give it to each of them and draw lots, once u pick the person, find the person name u have gotten and get him/her that gift. So, i picked van and so lucky khim picked mine and it was the epiliator. I was dying to get either the perfume or coach i wanted. But well .... :) BAD khim even bluffed me tt he got it for Shirey !

After exchanging all of us went for Changi Nasi Lemak excpt Van & SA. Did the decoration of photo frames after we ate and van, sa and jas went back home.

It was rather rare for us to be able to last all the way to 5am ! it was so dead tiring. Luckily 4 of us cld fit in the king size bed but poor dan on the sofa.

we went for "wen dou sek" at geylang in the morning and dan sent us back.

we took a nap only at 4pm and woke up at 6 for dinner. Dan came to pick us at 11pm for supper and Treasure Hunter at GV yishun. Horrible show and i rate it only 0.5/5. we were all sleeping or rather trying to stay awake. Well, for the first time baby din sleep at all. It must have been his birthday tt explains why he was so awake.

So khim's bday was spent home in the day resting, dinner was at North Indian Restaurant at Boat Quay with his family. After dinner we went to Tanjong Ru to meet up with them and had the "bday cake, it was apple strudel.

This year bday was really so simple, i din plan anything at all. I knw everyone are pointing fingers at me. Bcus the last minute and so unconfirmed answers. I cldnt do anything. Esp baby's cake bcus i was with him all day long . I felt so so guilty to have not plan anything for him.
His bday present was also gaven to him so much earlier bcus i wanted to see if he like it. It was jus a wallet and a top. Nth much surprising.

I'm so mean i knw.

I promise i wld make it better next yr baby.
i'm sorry.

my baby wanted to bowl but it was fully packed so we went to East Coast HK cafe ,enjoy the life band and ate. Took a stroll by the beach.

Sunday afternoon we went back to my place to had lunch, baby slept all the way and den went back home while i headed to grandma's place for dinner. After dinner baby picked me up and we went to ICE3 to meet Dan, Van, Sa, Rey.

The festive period is over :(
and i missed them so much !

On a side note, baby is bring me for picnic at Barrage, like finally ! Pray so hard its nt gonna rain ! We will be bring ah gal along, and i'm gonna prepare pasta for us :))

so uber excited !

the gals christmas hats :)

the champagne

How strong my baby when i weigh like a elephant !

the rooftop pool

our Room :)

cheers ~

Fighting on the verse to sing

the dare : take 2 ice cube into another room and try to melt it :)

we got to guess the present whoever picked and the person wil say if it is correct BUT

stil we dont knw who got us the present
the long queue

all woken up

The gingerbread house at the hotel
and its make of REAL biscuit ! Baby's cake from jie

LOVE YOU HONEY :)))

i'm kinda glad that we are gonna end this yr beautifully.

Knwing what we both want for the future, working hard for our ROM.

Planning for it is nvr gonna be easy but its the process that u have to enjoy.

I'm glad that i had him with me.

And if his the one who could accept me for who i am, my 100% bad temper, my pamperness, and every single thing of me.

why cant i do that as well ??

i'm glad that he had knw the importance, esp sat night i asked him what time is yr training tml and it's 4am already, arnt u gonna slp ? He replied, 745 am. But i'm nt going bcus i wanna acc u :)))

It really caught me by surprise. Real surprise. He did it for me, after the break it was the 1st training, but he din went.

i'm very glad he did that for me.

Many hav always asked me, are you sure? are you very sure his the one for u? Its a lifetime commitment u knw.

So stay tuned and i will be back saying it from my heart to the world : "YES he is the ONE "

2009-12-29T19:56:00.002+08:00

another 2 more days and its the end of 2009

2009 havent been a good year for me, have been through so much ups and downs.
Oh well, thought that it has been so smooth sailing for us.
But to think we have both matured so much, now quarrels and disputes aint about those silly stupid stuffs but about the future.

we had a quarrel all over the future, jobs and ROM yday.

It isnt that easy to search for a place that is affordable yet nice. Esp when we both are still schooling.

After thinking through everything, i found it so silly of me to even think that perhaps we arnt meant for each other bcus of our both different thinking towards our life.
Me being someone who only wants simplicity, a simple life, having the family get together every sunday , going home after work every night to have dinner with yr family. But him on the other hand, want something he always dream for. And to be a policeman.

After talking things out , we tried finding alternatives to solve things. But it didnt help ... We have decided to think through and talk it out again.

After much thinking, maybe i cld come to terms with it one fine day. And why let this affect us? It doesnt takes 2 same person to get together but its fate and the love that wasnt easy to come by.

I'm nt gonna let this issue affect us and also our ROM.

2009-12-26T15:24:00.005+08:00

Christmas seems to be over, alt 12 days of Christmas but the mood is over.

Our hotel countdown has end it was A blasting one, wait til I get back home and upload those photos. It was crazy cus I snap 200photos in just a day. Insane!

Yday we al went to catch midnight movie at yishun, travel hunters sucks , total bullshit and it's the worst show ever. Was tryin to keep myself awake through out and they were all sleeping ..

Oh and it's my dear baby boy's bday, it's jus a simple celebration nth much. We gt
up pretty late and was after noon , when dwn to had our lunch. It's pouring away nw, intended to go for kite flying but what's with this weather man. It was meant to be a romantic time for just both of us but I doubt we can nw. Gonna go for dinner in a few hrs with his family and meeting bestestlove after dnr and his bday is over soon.

I feel kinda un-bearing tt the best days of the yr is over! Kinda sad , or rather very sad. Days gonna be back to normal again.
Well, I hope new yr's eve gonna be a great ne cus it's just the both of us

it had been long since we had some time of our own or some romance. It's always tt he doesn't seems bothered with it

2009-12-22T14:49:00.003+08:00

bloody pissed can..

I totally can't take it anymore. acting like doesn't care and don't know anything,making things difficult for me. Isn't helping my festive mood at all!

slping after lunch and lying at the couch ignoring me totally even when I got mad and still cont slp... What the F*** is this.

After nt spending any much quality time tgt since u came back. So what if I see u practically everyday, its like nth at all bcus either u lose yr temper at me or we act nth like a couple.

Nursing yr extraction, recovering from that hell diahroea.

Den what do I deserve after all this

Getting so bloody headache about yr birthday but nt even a single help or appreciation.

I had enough of it.. Totally.

2009-12-21T00:37:00.003+08:00

Tml I will be heading to town again

this is the 4th time in this week already , wed khim's extraction, yday to get his present, today to shw him the wallet I wanted, and tml to hand his form to e dentist and wed for his review which means 5 time in a week. Kinda insane.

Tml gonna get up pretty early n go dwn den wait for him to wake up n cone dwn. Nobody likes gng to town alone n shop alone. I am pretty sure he is gonna b real late with lotsa excuse like help his mum tadah tadah and I can't say anything right? This happens every single time n he is never ever early when coming to meet me. Argh, I dono hw I cld put up with this bcus the thing I can't stand most is waiting and ppl who are nvr punctual.

He shall be glad to hav such a great gf getting up early in e morning go dwn to town just to hand in a piece of paper. And bet the shops arnt even open.

I just pray hard he won't put my aeroplane leaving me al alone bcus of his diarhoea again. This whole week with him is really so bad, nt spending any time tgt either delaying in our meet up or nt meeting at all last min and yes that bad

I really hope he wld get well by this thursday for the joyful festive season

2009-12-20T00:46:00.003+08:00

1week since khim is back

this 1 week has been bad .. Him having non stop diarhoea prolly due to his antibiotics for the wisdom tooth extraction . This causes him to b so hot tempered and irritated, yes and he is irritated with me and losing his temper at me. Well being his baby I have to accept and go through all this n glad tt he cld vent it all out n he feels better but still there limit to everything

I'm more concern about his consecutive diahroea as it isn't very good to have it more then 2 days. Worried he wld get dehydrated or anything wld happen. I wish very much he cld recover quickly

1 week since I had yr kisses
1 week since I had yr love
1 week since I had yr attention

get well soon pls

2009-12-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

Love means no boundaries.

Despite the temper thrown on me i smiled and get over it. That's how love is.

Poor khim is having food poisoning from Penang's food, adding on the wisdom tooth inflammation, unabling to eat well, that explains all the bad temper.
Alt i was shocked by that he raised his voice at me, i was jus mad instead of getting well or see a doc he insists of getting his Iphone. Somehow like a small little baby wanting ice cream, that's how silly he is.

Well, i had to bear through with all this and be there for him.

Hope that the inflammation swells down and his tummy get much better.

2009-12-16T22:33:00.003+08:00

worried

2009-12-16T18:37:00.000+08:00

my strong boy have completed half of his wisdom extraction. The right top and bottom done. Leaving the left top and bottom.

Poor him have to be in pain and also huge uncomfortness. And unable to eat as well.

this 2 days have been pretty boring, since he came back I have been over at his place. Seeing him slp al day long and me entertaining myself with watching tv and playing with my doudou. I am getting sick of it..

I can't wait for christmas to come to enjoy.

.........

so what u had treated them and show them the care and concern, after all you are nth but just CLASSMATES to them. so what it has been 7 years, you are just yet a hi-bye fren.

I rmb reading someone's fb and realise my bf does not sees my FB and blog as well. All he does is go right straight to as usual DB :)

2009-12-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

I dono what the hell is wrong.

I feel so Damn weird. Its like I have gotten use to life being alone and khim nt ard and I keep can't accepting the fact that he is back.

It feels weird.

Or its PMS. I guess it all takes time to adapt back again. Somehow I think I'm quite adaptive to things easily huh.

I keep telling sis yday I still can't believe he is coming back and she says that I don wan him to be back huh.

Haha.

I'm like deprive from enjoying my holidays. I haven been really enjoying myself after the exams. I have been dying to catch new moon so much again!

Argh!

2009-12-12T23:28:00.002+08:00

I'm still coughing away like an old woman BUT it only happens at night and I don't knw why.

Seen the doctor third time today.

I have been on medication for few mths and its all diff kind. and this isn't very healthy.

My body is getting weaker and weaker every mth.

I can't count the number of times I have seen the doctor this year including amt of specialist. From heart lungs colon. Oh my.

It finally sunday, 2 more days to go..
Just nw was dan's bday celebration, we went to tao's restaurant for 7 course meal and it was splendid! Unique way of serving and food, I was so full that I Cldnt even finish my main course. I'm sure if khim was ard he wld enjoy the steak.

They wanted to go 4 a drink but I cldnt bcus I promised khim. In the end they headed to ktv, I Cldnt sing bcus of my cough so I walked to bugis with them.

And somethin unbelievable I walked frm bugis to city hall to take bus70. And the road there is one whole stretch filled with trees and total darkness. I myself cldnt believe I cld walk alone there, even normally with khim I wld still be scare. I am so very proud of myself and wish to share this with him but sadly when he called I din.

Text him instead but guess he went to slp without looking at his phone, his prolly too tired.

I really wonder does he miss me at all ? Like he always miss me when I'm nt ard. Bcus it seems like he doesn't at all. :(

Sigh.

Luckily I had doudou ard to keep me occupied on bus rides whenever alone.

2009-12-11T12:41:00.002+08:00

time really does flies, it dec already. 3 more weeks its the end of 2009

And the day that i dread most i wish for it nvr to arrive has finally arrive.

It feels totally terrible, worst then the first time he left for even longer 6days.
He had nvr ever been away from me for so long other den me going to HK.

i really wish so much time cld fly to mon. And i'm sure the moment i see him i wld burst into tears. Sigh, that's the consequences of being so dependent on him. I keep telling myself this short period is for me to learn to b independent BUT i just cant stop thinking of baby :(

I'm so damn useless that i cant even do things properly without him ard.

i knw how i have entered into the dead path and there is no way for me to turn ard.
But stil i wished i cld just b strong and await his arrival back.

I really want him back right now :(

Mon he was ard to pick me from exam and brought me to the clinic, Tue he was also ard to went L4D2 with me, taking bus ride home, Staying over, cleaning up my clumsiness bcus i fear eating medicines, kissing me on the forehead before leaving for training. Acc him to his dentist, went home to rest, studied and waited for him when he went for his sports talk, thurs acc him for his appt, back home to rest, headed out for dnr and sent him to sch.

This few days memories keep lingering ard me :( I don knw why i am missing him so much.
Esp the image of him waking up in e middle of e night just to put the blanket properly on me and kissing me on the forehead.

i wish for him to b bck to celebrate the end of exams with me. But poor him is gonna have his wisdom teeth extract on wed. And to see him in pain :(

the bday surprise :)
Lucky i had doudou to acc me through

2009-12-10T22:12:00.002+08:00

i wanna scream, i need something to suppress the feeling :(

can time just flies quickly to monday.

i thought i was ok i though i could handle this perfectly.
But to know i cldnt.

i thought i wouldnt drop a single tear but when we started talking and telling each other not to this and that i felt so upset suddenly and told him to stop first.
And then my tears couldnt stop after that.

Somehow we din really treasure the time, i was so sick tt i slept everywhere i go. The moment i sat dwn i slept. We din spend time cuddling and enjoying the warm of his hug at all, that is what i needed most ALWAYS.
Instead of treasuring the time we have, either i was sleeping, or he was sleeping or he was playing with doudou.

it all just doesnt feels right

I wanted to acc him in sch till he leave and everything, but he insists of sis sending me home so he cld b at ease. Well, i had no choice but to leave him alone. It all ended with his hugs and kisses with a little unbearing.

Thanks that his sis and mum ensured i was home safetly and even waited for me to go in the gate.

The moment i step home i felt it all, tears started forming up. At every cough or pain i thought of him even more. i thought of tml would b even tougher bcus its e last day of exam. Or every morning he wld text me after his 6am training, either picking me to school or picking me home and of course celebrating the end of exams.
3.30pm paper is sucha bitch. It makes me feel even upset, esp during lunch time where he wld bring me 4 lunch knwing i have no lunch.

AWWWW. it sounds like he is going for a mth.

Just a short 4days but to me it seems like forever.

Due to the effect of exams and then feeling so sick. I just wished he was here.

Already been to the clinic for 2nd time and i guess i'm going 4 the 3rd time bcus i'm getting worst. Frm sore throat-cough-sore throat + cough.
The moment i talk it hurts like mad.

I keep thinking of it when u woke up in e middle of the night just to put the blanket on me properly.

PLS bless baby with lotsa safety :)

2009-12-03T18:45:00.002+08:00

2 lab test down, 1 last one to go tml.

But yet again, i'm sick.

It must have due to the accumulated lack of sleep for consecutive 3weeks, adding on the ultra mega stress i am facing everyday.

Esp mst, it is killing me. My mind is filled with nth but lab tests and mst, following on FYP to worry about.

Year3 seriously sucks big time.

After so long the illness is come attacking me again, felt so weak all over the moment i woke up this morning. Pop 2 MAX panadol it felt better, drag myself to school. After lunch the med effect went off. Khim came to pick me and to see the doc and send me home.

Appreciated that he came from home to SP, to YCK and back to SIM for his training.

OH this dumbo of mine hurt his neck and now his neck is out of place. AND the worst thing he hid it from me and i found out myself. Got so extremely mad and seeing him in pain my heart soften.

Gotten my bday gift from Bf Jieyu , my all wanted big big baby carebear ! and a small carebear speaker. So touched that he really went to get it for me, came to sch to pass me. THANKS tons Bf , much love.

Now tt i'm sick i see no hope in tml lab test anymore. A very bad habit of me bcus whenever i'm sick i totally cant study bcus i feel so weak.

AND lastly,

Happy 31 mthsary Honey <3

2009-11-30T08:23:00.003+08:00

Time really does flies.

My special day is over and am struggling to pass this 2weeks of consecutive flooded lab tests and exams and quizes and FYP.

It all sucks and i hate being so stressed up.

It has been weeks since i havent had a good slp, have been slping for less then 6hrs. This yr bday was so simple but still it was memorable.

It all started on the eve with classmates going for lunch and we got all stucked in the lift, it was the first time and so memorable. Appreciate for the lunch treat and cake. And apologies to everyone for missing half the lecture.

Next was meet up cousin and then FY, we walked ard and chilled. Khim came over and picked me home. He went to find a slice of cake and went home to sing for me :))

Sis stayed up too just for me too. :)

woke up pretty early with less then 5hrs of slp and i was hopping mad when khim was late to pick me. Adding on the mom at home wished me in a so unreluctant way. But it was all cool. Had breakfast at PS cafe cartel and had to head to Taka Cocca to meet the family for lunch.

After lunch we went for a walk to ION and trained to Orchard Central. It was time so khim & i had to leave for airport to picked his dad up. We headed home and spent the rest of the night home. It was kinda bad and we fought bcus i was kinda mad about the morning. Oh he tricked me into giving me a earpiece for my bday but due to the fight he had to let me knw what the rest of the present was. It was really bad that i din wanna talk or continue and told him to just cool down before talking if not he would start blabbering lotsa harsh words.

Everything ended nicely, we went for dinner nearby and headed home. I really so tired.

Oh and khim's mum gave me a hongbao this year but the sad thing i din even get to open it at all. Khim dropped it frm his pocket :(

Anyway its alright, perhaps it wasnt meant to be mine.

This few days was extremely loved. Sat morning had to get up so early again for work. Khim came to fetch me to work. It was tiring but the pay was worth it all ! Was so tired out , headed back to his place, showered and took a nap. We head home to get some stuffs before heading to Jas's place for BBQ org by ben.

it was nice but weird without Dan & yun. We headed back home early as he has early training on sun. Woke up early again as he had to head for training and send me home.

Yday he picked me up and head to his place. Dinner was with his family and Uncle's family as his uncle wanted to give a treat. After dinner we went down to airport and then Cheesecake Cafe with Dan, Van and Sa. 2nd time i saw poor dan cried and i felt really heartache that i was at the verge at tearing. It was really really so hurting to see dan like this.

And it made me treasure the love we had more.

The time is coming closer, baby will be leaving for Penang soon. Alt i had already started accepting the fact but at every hear of it i still get some weird feelings here and there

:(

when we got stucked

Sat's BBQ

Arena for my advanced bday celebration week's back

2009-11-25T07:31:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I am turning 20 in 2days time.

But I have no anticipation or excitement.

I used to look forward to bdays bcus I love bdays celebration.

But this yr it just doesn't feels right !!

Somehow it seems like its a normal friday.

Perhaps its due to the overwhelming stress Frm lab tests and exams for following 2weeks. And I rly need time

but I do appreciate those who have asked to celebrate for me but I'm just so busy and pack!

So I cld only make a slot on thursday night.

I rly do appreciate and thanks. I have rly been finding time to fit in as well.

2009-11-24T09:33:00.003+08:00

I'm tired

i wished i had more time.

Lab test, Free access, FYP, MST.

Everything seems to be crashing down now, i feel so stressful.
Esp at this moment this few little weeks and days i wished to spend all the time i have with khim before he leave for Penang but it seems tough. Lab test are all next week, MST are coming.

i need time time time.

I don feel any excitement to my bday, it doesnt seems to have any special feeling or rather i wished it has alrdy passed. Soon to Christmas and khim's bday bcus he is already back from Penang. For the very first time, he isnt there with me on the eve on my bday for any pre celebration and he was nvr the first to be with me on my bday.

The first time during exam period he isnt here to motivate me. No one to stay though the late night with me, no one to motivate me to study quick just to go to bed tgt.

I don rly wished to think about it but i knw its reality we always have to face. the earlier u faced it the fastest u wld b able to pass through it.

I knw that it doesnt matters to him, im not exactly that priority and that important to him. I always had to plead him for time and time and physically.

Its tiring. Very.

Everyone need to have their importance felt.

i miss stayovers.

I don wanna breakdown at this moment because of insufficient time, but instead make better use of it.

i gotta be strong bcus there are still friends out there supporting me even if it isnt you.

2009-11-23T09:08:00.002+08:00

Congrats to my wonderful great honey.

For getting 3 "gold" cookies this year.

It was so overjoying that i felt so emotional and wanting to cry at every thought of it. Somehow it feels that those early morning wake ups, him getting tired, us fighting quarreling all bcus of time was al paid off !

It was somethin really worth for

After him winning, he was really sweet coming to me telling me sorry that he has been neglecting me and how he had did it for me. Repeatedly telling me thanks and flooding me with huggs. I was deeply touched.

He brought me for his post dinner, his teammates was really nice and friendly. Alt baby as usual when gets excited he leaves me all alone. But it wasnt that bad afterall.

After SRR i felt rather emotional and i'm missing him really badly and really wanting him badly
:(

Thanks Baby,

I ♥ you

2009-11-21T21:50:00.003+08:00

Doesnt feels good :(

My old ailment is back again. My back is now giving me very big problem, it hurts so much tt it affects my appetite and everything i do. My temper is like extremely bad bcus it is rly killing me.

i need to go for a massage real badly but there just isnt anytime. Tml ? Cant bcus of baby, shld i just go ahead and not meet him ? i knw i wont do that .

The whole day was spent going ard looking for blings, went to Arab street. Poor dad was jus driving us and following us. Dropped me at UOB waited for baby to end and his fren drove us to woodlands. I AM SUPPER BAD . i din even went down to support see him row. BOOS

It was a short time tgt, for the first time after so long. I went home alone :( i knw he is tired but naturally it was rather upset bcus i rly wanted to spend time tgt. Adding on the killing back ache. Mummy said i was so guai going home alone for the first time.

SIGH,

it affected my night.

i don wish to go rake it up and just let it pass

2009-11-21T08:54:00.009+08:00

Time flies, with realising its the 3rd Regartta i've been with baby already.

Stil remembering, the 1st one was on our mthsary. Being a bad gf i din went to support him. Last yr i went on both days. The last day my whole family went, dad drove him to shower and had my bday dinner. Last yr was what i had so been looking forward to with all his promises but back to square one i am still going all this this year

This yr i wil be going as usual on the last race as always. He has such a bad gf hur, bcus i hate being ard with so many "foreigners" This yr is gonna b so much diff, no more with SP and gonna be with so many strangers.

Tonight we are gonna have dnr with his parents as we havent been eating with them the whole week and his dad is going abroad again tml. It Irene's 21st bday i cant find anytime to go down, i feel rather bad :( Hope she likes the bday gift from us.

Tml after the race he has his post race team dinner, i was still whining to him yday tt his always with me after his every race. Well, after being selfish for 2yrs i guess i have to follow him with many "strangers".

But now he has been very nice whenever bring me along to such events, he wld hold on to me not leaving me alone unlike the past. HOWEVER the very bad gf of him always leave him alone whenever i bring him along for events.

BUT its diff luh, he cld always entertain himself.

Whenever i'm left alone with strangers i wld b all alone and so quiet wishing i cld dig a hole in.

Unbelievable right? when i'm someone so noisy !

But this is one great phobia of mine , i hate being ard strangers all alone.

Sometimes u are so destestable so irritating, i hate you to the core but in the end i love you like crazy. Each time i get irritated by things you do i curse and swear but bottom line the love we had always overcomes it all.

its so amazing each time i think how we cld come so far. It all started so sweet so loving, so fairytale. Moving on to hell each day, quarrels, fights, that we got so tired of each other tt you gave up on me once. yes, til now i stil cant bring myself to think back of that night. The hurtful words you always blurt to me each quarrels. i hated you for that.

But each time we talk about the future the all waiting day that i have been urging for i felt happy i felt warm. i wish time cld fly but if you think, the time in fact isnt very long. We have to treasure this short period of time now before moving on to the next beginning step of our life.

What we had was nvr easy to come, we tolerated each other misgivings. you tolerated my unstandable childish temper, i tolerated yr bad hot temper. I had to accept for who you are which was so tough and i'm sure you had to too.

Each time i wldnt wan any unhappiness to affect us alt i stil cant brin myself to trust you after all the happenings. But deep down somehow there seems to be the trust somewhere. Just simply you cld make me smile with jus a sweet text frm you and made my day.

But hand in hand, we will make it through and walk the rest of our life tgt.
Love means forgiving and to accept the one you love.

Family that make me detest them so much at times but its when you are sick they are always there for you.
Its the hidden love

A brave Girl :D

2009-11-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

I'm so glad and happy with myself tt i am such a brave girl *Thumbs Up*

Everything was so quick i din even had the time to wait. Dad drove us down, mum was waiting all along outside. Khim? he came while i was inside, boo hoos. He fell back asleep when he woke up earlier den me

Anyway it was kinda scary cus i was surrounded by nurses but they were all so friendly. It was totally somehow like a surgery. Regular blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen and needle inserted into my hand. It was the injection that was eww but knwing i was afraid, the nurse was nice to hold me and talk to me. Before i knew it i was asleep, when i woke up it felt extremely uncomfortable. My stomach felt painful, had gastric, nauseous and my anus hurts so much. Doc said my piles was too small to tie so now i have to be watching my diet and take more fibre.

We were suppose to catch a movie or and walk ard but i cldnt take it even breakfast at Mac was terrible. Fell asleep all the way home, we both had a nice shower followed by facial mask :) Pastamania delivery for lunch and we slept for 3hrs. I felt so good after the sleep :D

The whole day was nice with baby company. Esp cuddling tgt, playing fb, having lunch dinner and also me throwing silly tantrums demanding him to spend more time with me bcus tml we r having dnr with his parents and sun he has team dinner. I knw i have been complaining that now again his teammates are like everything to him BUT i do feel a tiny little jealousy unhappiness but it isnt that bad luh. He does stil spend time with me EXCPT still showing that i am 2nd :(

i am just very not happy he is going to Penang and leaving me all alone in spore :(

BIG SIGH

Anyway, Jiayous to baby and his team tml. And bring a gold cookie back :D
Of cus to SP too :D

2009-11-18T18:10:00.001+08:00

I don fcuking give a Damn.

If u tel me to bloody think for you pls do it yrself.

If I don mean anything to u den thanks

U always make me realise so damn much things and its forever when u make me build up all the trust for you. you hurt me like shit each time. Expecting me to make the first move, expecting me to talk to you, hoax you.

what is this?

You are the one who make me love you so deeply but yet .. the one who nvr fail to hurt me so much.

Now, tel me what to do..

2009-11-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

2009-11-18T17:04:00.002+08:00

I thought I was just able to always forget things or just close one eyes but yet again each time i discover somethin new.

And forever it always seems that there is things to hide for me..

It hurts when I started building the trust all up again and u blew it

I'm feeling sick sick of this bloody 2 weekends how long more do I have to give in and wait.

Ah Fcuk it.

Gross:skip if u wished

2009-11-16T13:24:00.002+08:00

Back from a short relaxing getaway.

But i'm so hell unlucky, Gotten piles the moment we step home. I was so shock and scared.. It was so gross, uncomfy and painful. Rush to the clinic and i nearly enter death. After the doc pushed it back it was really hell painful. And to knw it is there forever so it may come out again and i have to push it back. How wld the hell i dare to push it back myself. Now i am still feeling uncomfort esp when i feel like shitting but i cant force else the piles will be pushed out. I hope it has shrink back. i have been drowning water down and down bcus i my stools cant get harden .

Sigh, its really a huge burden esp a person like me who cant stand discomfort and pain.

But i keep telling myself this is parts and parcel of life.

Decided to go for a scope this fri,thurs i wil be camping at home to clear my system and head for scope on fri. See what the doc says whether shld i remove it as well alt it wil be fcukign pain with MC for 2weeks and sitting on tyres. I have to brave through this.

Anyway Malacca has changed tremendously. the traffic there is really so bad tt its practically jam everywhere. *phew* luckily we have passed it . But the moment we enter spore custom ydae i felt stress! i wished i was stil in malacca as it was really stress worry-free. I din had to worry about this and that and it really felt so carefree!

EXcpt for the traffic and the hotel which was so argh. its jus me i guess jus like daddy said even if we was staying in shangri la u wil stil be slping with sleeping bag. HA!

The hot weather and less intake of water bcus there isnt home water cus the piles i guess.

i had much fun, shopping was damn tiring. Isnt much loots but gd food !

After 3 days without baby was still alright, alt it feels kinda weird without him ard looking after me, eating my food for me,controlling my spending and esp in the car no warm shoulders to hold me to slp, no sharing of starbucks esp ! But it wasnt that bad luh.

O yeah, Friday night was superb !

we finished the martell and had other drinks, danced, played games. I kept losing hence i drank super fast in e end i felt like vomitting but cldnt and the moment i open the door I vomitted at the doorstep ! run to the bathroom cldnt controlled and vomitted all over !

parents cleaned up for me and i headed to bed. woke up 2 hrs later for malacca trip. amazing huh, just 2hrs of slp i cld still be so active.

2009-11-12T21:38:00.002+08:00

3 Days without khim by side. I think its tml that its tough bcus its a friday and further more going to club without him sending me home.

Sigghhh

But its nice of him to bring me to get my body shop stuffs and lunch. He came over after training,slept like a baby and headed downstairs for some light gym. So i jus sat there enjoying the macho him.

I cant wait for monday to see him :D

Today was 3rd yr assembly, was ultra bored and the so called "pizza" was jus oily kfc chicken. Taste horrible and i hate kfc.

By the time i got home was already 8plus.

i jus don understand why sometimes things are jus so freaking unfair. What exactly is a home?

2009-11-10T22:34:00.005+08:00

i have been thinking so much, i know i have always been thinking lahs.

First while on the train home just now, MST is coming. Means ? holidays are coming. Then it will be soon final exam and tt is the end of poly life. I hate those parting times. This 3 yrs have been so memorable with the cliques, so much fun times we been through. I'm starting to feel it already. im gonna miss those fun study times, disturbing each other,pinching nipples,dirty joke, random jokes, etc. Sigh.

but this is part of life i knw, everyone stil have to move on.

what i can do is treasure this few mths together and part happily and many of them will be going to army already.

This november have been pretty tough, lotsa "away". khim will b going for camp while i will be going to msia for a short getaway. This time we arnt gng tgt :( Everyone is asking me, it does adds on much sadness. Anyway he wldnt even be bothered by it but much more happier in spore without me and enjoying his bonding training camp. It all tunes back to those days where he was always available whenever, i miss Genting days where he take cares of me so well. Esp overseas, he takes extra care of me. whenever i get so excited with those shopping he wil follow me ard lest i get lost.

So when will be our next ?

I'm sure its pretty hard now, with his so COMMITED never ending db.

Ydae liyun was saying how busy he is to celebrate my bday tgt. So we are gng drinking this fri without him. It is SAD lahs. Alt he always give lotsa excuse to escape frm drinking and clubbing, this time i wil jus go myself without him. i do feel sad and want him to b with me protecting me. sigh. What can i do. Its his commited never ending db.

After waiting 2yrs, i have to hold on and wait another 2more years. After that ?

So now i am trying to buck up again and learn to go everywhere WITHOUT him like i use to be able to.

So this coming weekend i am gonna enjoy to fullest !

Dec he wil be going for Penang race, can i say tt i don wan him to ?
He wont even if i ask him not to.

Everything is jus accepting learning and givingg.

days and things will move on much easier

Despite how bad how selfish he is, i still could brave through each day trying to forget all the misgivings . Because i knw i love him.

And i always believe that he does love me.

Alt ppl are telling how unhealthy, how bad it is gonna b, i refuse to listen or do anythign about it bcus deep down i knw we do still love each other and we will brave it through. Giving up is never a route.

i thought our tough hard days are over but it seems even tougher ahead but whether are you willing to hold on tight and never let go, i never knw.

Tml is the day to spend tgt before 4 god days being apart :(
But suddenly khim gotta work til afternoon, its okay. Surprising i don feel much disappointment bcus its work, we can still have the rest of the afternoon and night :)

Christmas my most favourite festival is coming , *jumps* :D