it doesnt feels good.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

i lost control once again, i regretted. Blewing todays mthsary up, we were suppose to catch a movie. I tot that i still had tml. That day when he mentioned he had training in e morning,i comfort myself that i had the rest of the day with him. Its a FRIDAY, our always tgt day. But i understand he has his projects to complete. All i wanted for some words or assurance from him, but no he jus remain silence.

I passed him the present and yeah to what i expected. He open up and den place it in his bag after. Ask me if i was upset, no i wasnt.

I had to control the whole day after hearing not having him ard. Since that day we hadnt even spend real quality time tgt. Yet again its always me complaining of all this. It hurts.

After recieving those hurting msges, i was speechless. i guess the most hurting is to knw how yr guy has stop loving you or get tired of you. I nvr knew i wld be included in the stresses in him. I'm trying so hard day by day, but to avail. I'm proud of myself turning into a independent lady, able to do things on my own. But i realise how tiring it is, i still wish i cld have someone i cld depend on like the past. Someone there for me, someone telling me its ok when i cry.

no words can describe how i really miss the past.

i feel happy now, for myself my family. But how strong a person is, there is also a need to slow down isnt it ? i sat down watching trains passby, tears flow & flow, it reminded me that everyone do still loves me. Alt the man who once loves me has stop loving me, its okay, i had memories, it hurts but i knw i still can brave through all. I've been trying for a mth to be the old us to enter his heart once again, knwing hw i wld fail so badly. I nvr thought of gaving up but just try and try. Perhaps it would irritates him..

It really hurts real bad.

I had never felt like this before, i dont knw hw am i to handle al this. All i cld do is jus cry and cry.

Love makes one so vulnerable. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. The day when u realise you arnt who you are anymore, its too late

9/03/2009 10:03:00 PM I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky

it doesnt feels good.

i lost control once again, i regretted. Blewing todays mthsary up, we were suppose to catch a movie. I tot that i still had tml. That day when he mentioned he had training in e morning,i comfort myself that i had the rest of the day with him. Its a FRIDAY, our always tgt day. But i understand he has his projects to complete. All i wanted for some words or assurance from him, but no he jus remain silence.

I passed him the present and yeah to what i expected. He open up and den place it in his bag after. Ask me if i was upset, no i wasnt.

I had to control the whole day after hearing not having him ard. Since that day we hadnt even spend real quality time tgt. Yet again its always me complaining of all this. It hurts.

After recieving those hurting msges, i was speechless. i guess the most hurting is to knw how yr guy has stop loving you or get tired of you. I nvr knew i wld be included in the stresses in him. I'm trying so hard day by day, but to avail. I'm proud of myself turning into a independent lady, able to do things on my own. But i realise how tiring it is, i still wish i cld have someone i cld depend on like the past. Someone there for me, someone telling me its ok when i cry.

no words can describe how i really miss the past.

i feel happy now, for myself my family. But how strong a person is, there is also a need to slow down isnt it ? i sat down watching trains passby, tears flow & flow, it reminded me that everyone do still loves me. Alt the man who once loves me has stop loving me, its okay, i had memories, it hurts but i knw i still can brave through all. I've been trying for a mth to be the old us to enter his heart once again, knwing hw i wld fail so badly. I nvr thought of gaving up but just try and try. Perhaps it would irritates him..

It really hurts real bad.

I had never felt like this before, i dont knw hw am i to handle al this. All i cld do is jus cry and cry.

Love makes one so vulnerable. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. The day when u realise you arnt who you are anymore, its too late

9/03/2009 10:03:00 PM // Out of the darkness and into the sun