Simplicity♥
Simplicity | Eternal | Love | Life | You
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I have good news, starhub seems to take a long time to replenish E71 stock and they say there may not be anymore red. Singtel is selling E71 red at 600. SOOO, i had no choice to order it..
The bad news is, i have to pay the remaining 300 myself. how am i gonna pay it back man.
Sigh.
So, i can get the phone tml. Hopefully the lady don put aeroplane on me.
Gonna go help Daniel with some admin work at his office tml, down to SIM after baby's paper and his gonna send me down to get the phone.
Anyway his down with one paper remaining 2 with another one down tml. I jus don understand, it his impt exam and tml's exam is kinda critical for him. I understand its his dad, but its exam isnt it? having to drive all the way down to airport to home and then to sch. Few hrs of studying or rest time gone and now he have to chiong through the night to complete the revision. I simply don understand. Sigh. i'm not being mean to ask his dad to take a cab home but its exam and .... well.. i really don understand baby.
It jus pains me having always see him rushing through the night before exams knwing how tired is he and even getting up as early as before 5am for training.
He jus don understand how i am feeling seeing him go through al this.
Today was FYP visit to St Lukes, town as WS wanted to get something, had a heavy lunch at Crystal Jade. Train back to WS's place and evening was the MAC party for andy and yx. Photos will do the talking when i upload them soon.
Baby was nice to wait for me just to send me home. I appreciate it.
But after a tired long day we finally get to see each other, instead of treasuring the short bus journey home, sharing the day , holding each other at the end of a stressful and tired day. All he cared was to jus sit whenever there is A seat. I knw baby is worried i am tired or something. But....
Anyway, it's nice of him to sent me home despite the late night and him having to rush home to study.
Ok i wil upload photos real soon.
Hopefully baby can finish his revision soon lest he wld be tired tml.
10/31/2009 12:33:00 AM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Without E71, uploading phots, blogging ,fb has been such a hassle.
I wont be blogging that often till i have it again.
It has already been a huge torture
When will it be arriving, Sigh :'(
10/29/2009 10:31:00 AM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
When will E71 stocks be arriving. I am so desperate for it now. 1 week has pass i'm so afraid that the secret will be out soon. I'm so afraid that there wont b anymore stocks coming in as E72 is out. I have been calling all starhubs shops the whole day and so unbelievable the whole singapore and starhub is out of stock. Totally unbelievable.. At the very least, i would feel much better if i knw when wld it be arriving :(
praying that it wil arrive soon pls :(
Again, sunday night i've gotten hurtful msges frm him. I manage to slept throught with as little tears. Move on through the day trying to put on a strong front till afternoon when he woke up, i got even more hurtful words.
i had to brave through lab lesson while controlling al the tears, skipped lecture. Jy came down to pick me home knwing i wasnt feeling gd and my bag weighs a bomb. we went somewhere quiet, sat in the car and talked. i was bursting into tears all along , each time crying out for him. wanting for him so much to b with me despite the hurt. But after crying out, i learnt to be much stronger after jy talked to me. Telling me how i shldnt be soft hearted and be strong.
after crying the whole day i was so tired and worn out. Had only 3 sticks of satay for msg and rcvd a msg saying he wanna talk. Appetite went totally down and i got so afraid. End up he came down not to talk but make things out. We din really talk though. I appreciate the effort taken to come down to make things up and it makes me realise we are still strong. We went for ICE3 and i was smiling like a little gal.
And then,
The waitress asked baby : " Are you frm NUM, you very fit eh. *smiles* "
I was sitting right infront of him and AM I SO SMALL SIZE SO TRANSPARENT HUhH???
But its okay luh, i told baby let her see al she want bcus i can see you anytime :) Aint his gf so nice?
Anyway, i am still worrying and upset over the phone. i wish i cld get it soon bcus i have rly been suffering al this while and its really painful.
i was so clumsy today, i fell and tripped , my nail crack half in vertically. It looks horrible.
Started out a bad day but after meeting baby for lunch i felt better. BUT i got con by one of the starhub shop telling me they hav last stock there but calling me in e evening ltr said it was alrdy been reserved. SIGGHH
Could someone tell me please when will i be able to get it :(
10/27/2009 08:59:00 PM
Monday, October 26, 2009
"Thanks to you i'm a lousy bf"
The msg left me a huge impact since last night
10/26/2009 06:30:00 PM
Sunday, October 25, 2009
At times i'm always led to confusion. Total confusion.
When i'm showered with love and protection, next moment i get blames.
When i thought i had the best of the world, and to knw something hurtful.
I always wonder why, why is the world so cruel.
OR i aint suppose to be who i am
10/25/2009 08:55:00 PM
I am spoilt i am pampered BUT i din ask to be for who i am. I wldnt want to be like that at all.
Have survived 3 tough days and nights. Another 3 more days to go.
I knw baby is very against of me replacing a new one bcus he jus feels i havent learn my lesson and not zipping my bags. But , so what if it was to get a new one its nvr gonna replace old precious. Alt i knw i cld jus get a subsitute to get over things, that's how i always heal my sadness.
3days and yes, i got a nightmare again. It was the same scene repeating every nightmare. It was terrible, i woke up feeling painful. But i choose not to let it out..
I havent been reading to those sweet lovely moving on msges, wld u hold me and guide me on and replace those msges pls.
i don like of you training so hard with bruises wounds all over, i don like you getting so tired each time i see you, i don like knwing that you will b going for camp next mth .. in the past, it took me after many times to b able to trust u but now i'm so uncertain. But i cant tel you how i feel.
I keep telling myself to trust you trust you and trust you.
Anyway for now, i hope exam period will b over for you so u can concentrate on trainings and wldnt be so tiring having to shuffle here and there. I hope stress would jus be blown away esp yr money issue. i wish i cld help u but i cant do anything.
10/25/2009 09:48:00 AM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I still missing my precious E71, sigh. Esp when the laptop is extremelly lagg i wished i had precious with me so i cld blog fb or anything. esp when i am waiting for baby, i wished too i have it by my side. In the night before i slp i felt lost, i din had precious by my side to make me smile by reading past msges.
I survived this few mths thanks to those msges, i read them everyday despite khim's coldness to me, i reminded myself tru those lovely msges.
This 2days has really been a torture.
But still i had to remain calm.
Bad khim was telling me that he dont knw that it is good that i lost my fone so i can wake up but it seems i have not learn bcus i don feel any pain as i am gonna get a new one soon. He mentioned i shld learn and use some old phone for at least a mth or more. Ok, he is EVIL. But another side he is right i guess. Bcus i knw how spoilt i really am. But..... It was daddy who brought me this way, i knw i cant carry on being so spoilt and always insist on having what i want.
At the very least, i have a bf who doesnt spoils me so much as he does limits things. For my own good i knw. I'm sure many does loves the feeling of being spoilt right ? But there's always a limit to every things.
Yday in the morning i went to get my replacement of sim card, the guy was very nice to not charge me. Met khim for lunch & we headed to Yishun starbucks, he went for his appt. Studied after his appt, i entertained myself with mag. That's what i always do when he studys, so now i have a whole load of mags, i guess i have read this mths diff kind of mags. We headed home for dinner with his family. It was a great night tgt, in each other arms.Waited til 1am for his sis to b back so he cld drive me home.
Khim's exams are nearing, i hope he wldnt b so stress up. And understand i wld always be there.
I miss precious.
10/24/2009 02:32:00 PM
A painful mistake learn
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I have no one to blame but myself, yes, due to
carelessness, laziness and being afraid of troublesome. I have a bad habit of not zipping my bag so i can reach out for things easily, or jus leave things behind without noticing. And DUH now
i lost my hp.It was the most painful mistake i hav encounter, it was really hell hell. Greedy me excited i can get cookies, happily paid and walk up the stairs and realising that i lost my hp. I got the scare out of my wits, i was totally at a state of shock, luckily ws was calling my hp all the time going here and there with me. Emile & zx came down, thanks emile for searching carrying my bag and zx carrying my laptop. I was totally in shockness, called khim imme and he gt a shock. He came down like within mins, and i found out he was actu gonna surprise me but i gave him a even bigger surprise instead. Being always getting worked up and not being able to calm down me kinda pissed him off. He made me simmer down, qns and talked to me nicely.
Ws was calling the phone all along but to realise it was my voicemail music instead of the dialing tone. Sigh, the phone has already gone but all i cld do was jus cry. That process was so fcuking painful. Bcus :
#1 It was the first ever HP my daddy gotten for me and paid 500 without a single word
#2 It was like part of my life in whatever i do
#3 It was the one that kept me through boredom
#4 It was the one that diverts my attention whenever i wait for khim to reply me
#5 It was the one that allows me to fb, fml everynight before i slp
#6 It was the one that wakes me up every morning
#7 It was just like another part of me
#8 memories kept all in
#9 those msges that kept me moving when i had to read them everyday every night
#10 i treasure that phone so much then any others mainly it is from
daddy !
# nvr ending ...............................................................
The msges that i had lost made quite a big impact, a whole 6mths of lovely msges jus gone. Those up and downs that we had been through, those making up, those sweet silly msges jus to cheer me up... are all gone now.
Alt it hurts, i believe memories do stil live in my heart.
So, it was already lost, headed to FYP room. Khim sat down, talked and reason it all out to me. But stil the moment i sat down, thoughts flow in i started bursting into tears. Even during lecture, lecture was all about HP, WLAN. and wlan which was the main usage of my
E71. Khim drove me home, talked it all out with me and Daddy even intend to get a new one bcus he din wan mum to knw, it make me felt even worst. Baby checked his line, called starhub and he had a line to recontract. Without contract cost $800, freaking $800. I cant possibly let daddy get it, so baby let me use his line and cost only $348. But if the request of waiving $100 is approved,i only pay $248.
I know i know how
pampered how
spoilt am i. Baby told me i have to understand, learn from the mistake, not everything wil goes my way, and understand not everything i want i will have it.
I know the whole day my mind was all thinking that i want my E71 and i really want it. And baby even going all mights finding way to get it for me. I know baby is trying to not spoil me, let me work hard for what i want and not let things goes my way. But each time he sees me crys he feels totally helpless, all i cld do i jus cry neglecting the fact of him being upset too.
And yes, daddy gave me the money and now we are waiting for starhub to get back. Scold me spoilt and pampered i knw i deserve to be.
Knowing that i'm going on the wrong track, but the 2 beloved man in my life who love me so much let me be. Its not that they let things go my way but still they sat down and talk to me. I have to learn, to calm down and not jus cry.
Crying doesnt helps anything,
Daddy : "daddy cant always be there for you helping you, what if i'm not ard anymore. You are a big girl already but how can i ever be relieve to trust u to stand on yr own."
Baby: " Baby you are a big girl, you cant just cry each time things happen. You have to learn from your mistake and whatever it is i am always here"
It has been a real hell day going through the shits, but baby was al along with me excpt leaving for training in the evening. I felt so much better, how he held me and guide me through. Touching my face gently each time i look at him, hugging me when i burst into tears and not even scolding me for crying, and lastly kissed me softly saying he is there.
My precious is gone but the lesson learnt is even more precious.
And tel myself always rmb to ZIP my bag and CHECK each time i leave a place
Thanks baby and Daddy.
Baby, you make me realise that you do love me as much.
10/22/2009 08:25:00 PM
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
mar doesnt likes sch :( mar doesnt likes 8am lesson :(
Every single day is jus 8am lesson and it sucks. Out of 4 days i have to bring laptop for 3days. Monday killer day, 2 heavy books + laptop. Ok i knw i'm very Pampered and i really dread bring laptop ard, i rather carry books. Bring laptop to sch is really like a killer to me, everyone knw how i always whine luh.
But what to do, its the
LAST sem i gotta treasure my last yr in poly isnt it ?
Last time i stil have khim ard sch, having him to help me here and there and i really do miss those days in sch with sudden appearance, driving me ard, passing my laptops to him whenever i don need. awww, i really miss those days.
I have to endure through this last sem,everyday 8am lesson esp monday the monday blues of carrying heavy equipments with books ard.
Today was only 3hrs lab, the moment i sat down for few mins,teacher say that there isnt any lab for first week but briefing blah blah blah. Less then an hr it ended. and at 920am. Freaking freaking early when i jus reached and sat down not long. So we headed to king albert park Mac to did those planning and stuffs, kinda excited ! :D Khim came to pick me up and we headed to vivo, he studied and we headed to catch 500days of summer. He went to study after while i read mags, entertained myself. we went down to collect my bag, i appreciate that. Had late dinner at Thomson and now i'm here feeling so sick for tml's 8am lesson adding on the heavy equipment ard sch & that 4hrs break. Luckily, we are doing Fyp.
Sigh, after a rush and busy day or perhaps "cold" day. I din had much time or chance to really feel him. He nvr does understands how it feels like, to him its nth and perhaps its that exciting training tml more anticipating rather den having me in his arms. Even with that unhappiness shown and sadness stil it didnt bother him much. Yes, it hurts even more. But what can i do? Ya, whine over here and jus get over it that's what i always do. Sigh, today's movie thought that nvr believe in miracles, fate, and true love, things are meant to be fight for. But still things that i always fight for eventually wasnt meant to be. The same issue over again, i nvr felt my importance in him. Rather , training is 1st, slp is 2nd, i am 3rd. Yes, he fell asleep in the movie today.
Mar, learn to get over it :(
something interesting :DD
our breakfast, 5 person total 10 cups of coffee & tea
look at amt of sugar and coffee mate used
Lastly, the man who turns me upside down.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Hasnt been updating for long i know. School has already started and its the 3rd day already. The week before sch reopening was kinda great though some up and some really downs.
First was the 3 beautiful days we could had but ruin by his last min race but knwing the moment i see him i can jus forget every single unhappiness. True enough i really did esp seeing the smiles and happiness on him and how he clinch the medal. So, to make myself much better i met jie for shopping and manicure. She came down to Yck to take the bus down to TampineseOne with me. We went for shopping and did our nails. Khim came to pick us and we wen for dnr at Zion Road, waited for xavier kor (jie's bf) to off work and we headed to Geylang for Dou jiang you tiao and driving ard to look and see. Well, it was Khim suggestion of going here and there bcus he wanted to make it up to me.
The next day he brought me to CWP for pasta mania bcus of my cravings, bot chips and headed to East coast but when we reached the weather was BAD. Still, we sat down and enjoyed the packet of chips with salsa. Started pouring we ran to the car and den he came up with a silly idea, THUS we ran and ate at the bus stop in the rain :D We get that strange looks from ppl in the bus each time they passby. But still it was something silly we did tgt. I din wan to go back so early so we wen to have our favourite :D
Headed back home for dinner with his family bcus his mum cooked oven roast chicken and pork ribs and i love it so much so when he told me what his mum was cooking of course i agreed to go home for dnr.
Tue we went out for lunch as i was craving for Chong Pang's Chicken rice, we went to buy my fav salmon sashimi cus i have been craving since long time ago. Sent me home in the evening and he headed for training. Yes, there goes our 3days tgt, to be exact it was only 2days.
well, i should be contented.
taking his own sweet time
Last friday after some complaint whines few days before, he skipped training and brought me to sentosa. We slept at 2 3am bcus we fight again over the same issue. SIGH.
I had to bring up my mood and it does helps abit i guess.
my favourite 4mths old apple juice and he got it for me :D
what wld b perfect without cleo
His mum treated dinner for his dad bdae so we wen alexandra for dinner. WELL, again before dnr we had a huge fight. Crying in the shopping mall how shameful i knw but i cldnt care much. But i must say the quarrel was worth it, we made up beautifully with silly things he did after that jus to make me smile.
After dnr we went Mt Elizabeth to visit his aunt who had a op for the heart nerve. Sent his cousins back home after that .
......... and.....
we went sentosa the next day AGAIN. Met khim at kallang after his training, silly waved so happily the moment he saw me . It made up the bad morning i had frm the queen what else. Met up with yx and frens and we head to palawan beach.
okay, i gotta hit to bed, baby is waiting for me and 8am lesson tml. SHITS, i'm gonna have a hard time waking up
10/19/2009 09:02:00 PM
Friday, October 16, 2009
it was always when my world was made beautiful, when i was brought up high to the peak. Everything came crashing down again.
But nevertheless, i always had someone who was always there to hear my complains whines and comforting me despite how i always complain and complain. And stil he din even make any noise but still always telling me tt he is always there when i need him and a shoulder to cry on. He is none other than my bf Mr Tay Jieyu. The best fren who always is there. Thanks bf and i too wil always be there.
10/16/2009 12:00:00 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I'm back home, it doesnt feels any nice being home bcus it makes me miss the presence of khim by my side. Having dnr tgt with his family, laughters, tv tgt, desserts on the floor, cuddling when the strong wind blows.. But nevertheless i have my wonderful daddy who shows me cares and loves. Its how amazing that to feel the love from daddy is just so simple but yet frm khim it seems so hard.
What is love without security and assurances?
Even if we are tgt everyday, it seems tt his heart isnt with me. How cld i ever feel my importance? how cld he ever assure me and give me the security. In e past despite how busy he was hw tired he was , he still nvr failed to shower and gave me all the love security and assurances. now i have to read tru messages to remind myself of everything.
What exactly is the problem lying between us? i wish i knw. Perhaps its the trust tt i no longer have. he always seems to be hiding so much things frm me, jus like last monday. Many many things are jus running tru me.
I wish someone cld tell me hw i shld move on and forget everything, how i shld trust him all over again, hw i shld b assured he is there. I guess his the only one who can do that, through words and actions, but he who doesnt.
Got this frm bf's blog : Funny how everyone thinks that making promises will somehow help. In the end it will only hurt you more when they break them.
i can no longer rely on telling you how i feel bcus i knw what the circumstances would be. Everything is jus kept in me.
10/13/2009 10:38:00 PM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
It was supposed to be our full 3days tgt after fcuking long time. When we din even had our holiday this year. I thought i cld wake up to an hr plus and i wil get to see you, but when i saw the msg in the morning i cldnt get to slp anymore but feel fcuked up. why isit that things are always against us, why now ? why today ? Its jus so fcuked up. I feel damn upset damn disappointed, so ? i guess i feel more anger. i'm tired, tired of all this shits.
Each time things happen al u cld tel me is you wil make it up i've heard this tons of times. But each time knwing when i see u i can jus forget things. Why isit that i'm the one feeling upset and u don even feel and knw anything.Why am i the one always giving and accomodating ? I hate you, i hate time i hate whoever who causes things to go opposite. Fcuk it. I don even feel like spending the rest of the 2days anymore.
Forget it, something to brighten up. Mrsingapore at Zicra on friday. Marine parade was damn freaking hot, when he wore his swimming trunks out, i tell u his body was awww..
I only have some of their photos, anyway the winner was frm Bishan.
Before that we had Pizza hut at Cwp and both of them were pestering me to go along, in e end i have to like beg khim to let me go.
After he got change and heading back for me to change
Labels: never take things for granted
10/11/2009 10:05:00 AM
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Again, i was told to be independent. i knw hw everyone is always drilling in to me how i shldnt rely on him and stand on my own. I knw its all for my own good but each time i hear this i feel extremely down.Yes real down. Things are always easier when said just like how i always say i will be since 12345 yrs ago but still i'm struggling. Nobody likes being so weak so useless. I used to felt that a guy who loves you would be more than happy to give you al the support and jus like a bear always letting you lie on. But i was wrong, i was wrong. Things were never tt simple at all, until a person changes.
Yes, i am being emo again. Feeling extremely down. ( i wish best friend was here encouraging me)
I knw its cause frm the very first beginning and all along he spoilt me. But tt was when i felt he love me and saving the best for me. He was the one who started out being by my side, being wherever i was, never leaving me alone no matter where i go, and also insist of me being by him wherever he goes. After 2yrs, everyone wants me to be on my own and even you too. Isnt it so cruel to me? Whats wrong when we are always as one, isnt that what we used to be? then why is everything so cruel by taking it al from me. Bring me up to heaven and ask me to fly down by my own.
Isnt that just how am i suppose to be ? I'm sure every gals are demanding towards their love ones. Yes, i expect him to share everything with me b it big or small. And yet again he was the one who made me do it when he doesnt. Doubts and suspision always built and stack up each time and was nvr cleared. Ame's right, his someone who doesnt knw how to talk and always hurt me. Don everyone loves compliments?
Sigh, i'm tired of thinking and typing already.
Things jus aint like it use to be anymore, i cld whine i cld cry i cld be upset but nw i cld jus bottle it all inside and wait till i wake up the next day forgetting about it. Bcus everything now just leads to nth but quarrels. I'm sick and tired of quarrels, it causes bad heartaches bad eyes. It use to be both of us feeling hurt hugging at the end of everything fighting for faults. But nw each time i'm all alone feeling upset and tearing like fcuk
Timetable is out, and is shits. Many days wasted, 2hr lecture a day. freaking slack timetable.
10/10/2009 12:26:00 PM
Thursday, October 8, 2009
:DDDD i've finally placed an order on my BAG :DD
BUTTT i jus realise i wanted to get the limited longchamp .. AHH nvm.
Getting my victoria secret bag but on a condition with baby i can only buy a dress for the next one mth. Wait, i think he say 2.. AHHH i knw its such a torture. :((
Someone save me pls or let me strike the lottery ? :)
Just nw when baby came over, he say lets take bus to hougang mall, i was like huh thought we are going for botak jones. Then he look at me saying ydae u say u wan eat pasta mania mahs. SOOOO, i was again HUH hougang mall got pasta mania mahs. THEENN he give the =.= u were the one who told me hougang mall has.
HAHA,in e end we took a bus to compasspoint cus i told him i was jus anyhow saying but Hougang mall really has pasta mania !
Its okay, we had pizza hut in e end :D
i saw so many of the dresses that i loveee, BUT baby restricted me and even talk condition with me but yet i still agreed :( Bcus if baby don pay half i wil have no dresses the whole mth at all. Silly baby luhs .
This few days he makes me really so happy and warm.
this photo was taken at Genting when Mum asked me to take cause its a shape of mushroom. So being pampered me was complaining how dirty the seat was. Baby came over sit down and put me on his lap.
this is how he always give the best to me. My stupid baby:D
10/08/2009 05:56:00 PM
I am so damn tempted to get this, have been wanting this for a very long time but spore doesnt carry Victoria Secret. So ydae itchy hands of mine went searching online and dennnn i found a blogspot carrying victoria secret bags and products frm USA.
Ok, slap me plsss :(
sooo, i told baby and i tot he wld nag at me luh but he din even scold me but still say to pay half for me so i can get it. I was so shoccckkk.
Dont knw what's wrong with him luh, he has been so sweet this few days, with those silly msges, volunteering to pay for me when he always tells me no money , have money then say. Coming to me after gym training to have lunch with me. I'm a happy girl l :DDD
But then, today's FYP cancel so we have to rush tru everything next week ! and is the last week of holidays , and nw no more sentosa . SIGH.
Anyone kind soul interested in going sentosa with me :( i've been dying to go there and nw sch is gng to reopen i doubt i will ever get to go there.
:'(
Anyway, thanks baby for always coming al the way down.
i am starving nw waiting for him to come dwn, packed lunch for daddy cus his hungry and still feeling so paisei insist of not having baby buy for him. Silly! And baby ydae say to go Botak Jones. Hippeeee!
10/08/2009 12:18:00 PM
Nothing gonna change my love for you
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Nvr knw i would be troubled all about everything again, have been feeling so down since ydae. The past week was a great one, no cold wars, no quarrels nth but just real pure love.
Til then i have been reminded of so many things, it sucks. it rly does. When u knw that u no longer can trust him. He was the only one who always shows me hw promises are true, the one who never fail to fufil promises. But nw i knw words and promises given are nth but just lies and lies and plainly for the sake to shut me up.
just like how he assure and convince me into letting him join SIMdb, saying hw he wil put me as priority. If we have anything on definitly us we me will the first on list. How he convince i wld still have him on most days as trainings are only tue sun. But yet nw even fri & sat, i've forgotten when was the last time we had a full day tgt, meeting up for breakfast heading home and cuddle tru the day. I've been waiting for 123456789 for him to bring me for sentosa, barrage, east coast, botanic garden, everything ! Each time i qns him the ans wld b i will bring u there , but still i'm waiting since 123456789 mths ago.Holidays is ending in a wink of eye, to even go sentosa with him i've to wait till nx fri after his training in the afternoon. Tel me hw i shldnt b upset wen he was the one who assure i'm him priority, how he assure he wont b commited and definitly place me as first. But nw db is everything to him once again & yet again i have to wait and wait and accommodate to all his timing. Tel me how can i ever build the courage to trust him. Ask me if it is tough , if it is tiring, NO for once it isnt.
Well, perhaps i have rly learn what it means to accept and live with everything, be contented.
But, how love rly wonders it rly amaze me bcus, all i long for is the weekend ahead to spent well tgt. I cld forgo clubbing even though how i had been waiting for jus to have the 3days ahead with you.
It feels sad, and the same issue again that he doesnt even needs me. it doesnt feels good feeling u are unwanted, at home and even to my only one. it sucks. at least in the past whenever he tells me hw i'm his strengths during training days when he pictures me at the end waiting for him, it makes me really happy to knw hw impt i was. But nw, i'm not his ultimate goal anymore. How he always say our future is what he is working for, now he doesnt anymore. How my name always appears no matter on msn fb but now it seems i'm nth related at all, my comments posts seems redundant.
Why isit that someone could just change so rapidly, it seems so terrifying.
alt this 2days he has been uber sweet to me, even when i was angry he still do everything to make me smile. It caught me surprise to knw ydae he came al the way down to sch 2 have lunch with me, took 74 al the way and send me home and den take 74 back to sch again. His silly baby face holding me tightly in the bus staying awake knwing i was unwell, it warms me so deeply. It has been since long you held me close and say you wanna smell and feel me. Yes,i admit it makes me fall even deeper.
i knw hw he has been putting effort to shower me with love and care, i feel it, i appreciate it, i treasure it, i cherish it. i'm sure we will move on better and hw tough it may seems we wil get by. i not upset but smiling each day bcus i knw he wld be smiling too
Deep down, i really miss the one who had love me unconditionally, always giving and saving the best for me.
If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young
And we both knowthey'll take us
Where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
Labels: i love the way you sing to me
10/07/2009 08:33:00 PM
Monday, October 5, 2009
So sudden, i thought everything has ended and our happy days are building up. No more quarrels no more cold wars but yet today .. It took me ages since the last time to jus built up the trust al once again but yet today in a split second u jus crashed it down. It felt terrible.
To knw that words cld jus turn and turn here & there. I cld no longer find the trust bcus watever u do u cld still turn yr words round and u are always right.
i finally knw that he is the one who always leave me alone now. Whenever i was always upset or when we fight he wld always come to me and nvr leave me alone. But now he jus walk off leaving me al alone.
He leave me in such a confusion.
Blowing me hot & cold, the very next moment i'm confused how is he feeling for me.
if i could, i would do anything just to bring my old baby back to me.
It has been a terrible day, once again left alone walking ard.
10/05/2009 08:23:00 PM
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Found some fotos in my camera and den..
Ready for something niceeeeE?
.......................
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.......
...
..
.
hahas!
Baby is gonna kill me if he sees this, OMG
*RUNSS*
This was Batam trip, Mum giving baby money
Damn cheap, u pay only 20+ for whole trip & get this whole loads of seafood.
Crab, prawn, calamaris, gong gong, a bowl of soup, kang kong, fish.
It was a tiring trip though, we caught the 2nd last ferry back and reached Spore only at 10plus, that weekend was the long national day weekend, Dan rented a car and came to picked us. After tt pick Liyun & we still headed for supper at quality hotel.
It was a dead tiring weekend.
Malaysia's trip with baby !
my all time love Ah koong fishball mee and i am still thinking about it everyday
FYP.
Wai seng the actor,
me the director,
zx the camera man.
But thanks to him, its was hard having to fall so many times
Lastly, last fri.
after we woke up i was in a foul mood whining & losing temper at baby.
Den e nx few mins after he shower i went baby take picture.
I think he must have been scolding me in his head.
my fav pic
2 more weeks of holidays!
i haven it been to the places i wan to yet. !
SIGGHHHH
I have good news, starhub seems to take a long time to replenish E71 stock and they say there may not be anymore red. Singtel is selling E71 red at 600. SOOO, i had no choice to order it..
The bad news is, i have to pay the remaining 300 myself. how am i gonna pay it back man.
Sigh.
So, i can get the phone tml. Hopefully the lady don put aeroplane on me.
Gonna go help Daniel with some admin work at his office tml, down to SIM after baby's paper and his gonna send me down to get the phone.
Anyway his down with one paper remaining 2 with another one down tml. I jus don understand, it his impt exam and tml's exam is kinda critical for him. I understand its his dad, but its exam isnt it? having to drive all the way down to airport to home and then to sch. Few hrs of studying or rest time gone and now he have to chiong through the night to complete the revision. I simply don understand. Sigh. i'm not being mean to ask his dad to take a cab home but its exam and .... well.. i really don understand baby.
It jus pains me having always see him rushing through the night before exams knwing how tired is he and even getting up as early as before 5am for training.
He jus don understand how i am feeling seeing him go through al this.
Today was FYP visit to St Lukes, town as WS wanted to get something, had a heavy lunch at Crystal Jade. Train back to WS's place and evening was the MAC party for andy and yx. Photos will do the talking when i upload them soon.
Baby was nice to wait for me just to send me home. I appreciate it.
But after a tired long day we finally get to see each other, instead of treasuring the short bus journey home, sharing the day , holding each other at the end of a stressful and tired day. All he cared was to jus sit whenever there is A seat. I knw baby is worried i am tired or something. But....
Anyway, it's nice of him to sent me home despite the late night and him having to rush home to study.
Ok i wil upload photos real soon.
Hopefully baby can finish his revision soon lest he wld be tired tml.
10/31/2009 12:33:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Without E71, uploading phots, blogging ,fb has been such a hassle.
I wont be blogging that often till i have it again.
It has already been a huge torture
When will it be arriving, Sigh :'(
10/29/2009 10:31:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
When will E71 stocks be arriving. I am so desperate for it now. 1 week has pass i'm so afraid that the secret will be out soon. I'm so afraid that there wont b anymore stocks coming in as E72 is out. I have been calling all starhubs shops the whole day and so unbelievable the whole singapore and starhub is out of stock. Totally unbelievable.. At the very least, i would feel much better if i knw when wld it be arriving :(
praying that it wil arrive soon pls :(
Again, sunday night i've gotten hurtful msges frm him. I manage to slept throught with as little tears. Move on through the day trying to put on a strong front till afternoon when he woke up, i got even more hurtful words.
i had to brave through lab lesson while controlling al the tears, skipped lecture. Jy came down to pick me home knwing i wasnt feeling gd and my bag weighs a bomb. we went somewhere quiet, sat in the car and talked. i was bursting into tears all along , each time crying out for him. wanting for him so much to b with me despite the hurt. But after crying out, i learnt to be much stronger after jy talked to me. Telling me how i shldnt be soft hearted and be strong.
after crying the whole day i was so tired and worn out. Had only 3 sticks of satay for msg and rcvd a msg saying he wanna talk. Appetite went totally down and i got so afraid. End up he came down not to talk but make things out. We din really talk though. I appreciate the effort taken to come down to make things up and it makes me realise we are still strong. We went for ICE3 and i was smiling like a little gal.
And then,
The waitress asked baby : " Are you frm NUM, you very fit eh. *smiles* "
I was sitting right infront of him and AM I SO SMALL SIZE SO TRANSPARENT HUhH???
But its okay luh, i told baby let her see al she want bcus i can see you anytime :) Aint his gf so nice?
Anyway, i am still worrying and upset over the phone. i wish i cld get it soon bcus i have rly been suffering al this while and its really painful.
i was so clumsy today, i fell and tripped , my nail crack half in vertically. It looks horrible.
Started out a bad day but after meeting baby for lunch i felt better. BUT i got con by one of the starhub shop telling me they hav last stock there but calling me in e evening ltr said it was alrdy been reserved. SIGGHH
Could someone tell me please when will i be able to get it :(
10/27/2009 08:59:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
"Thanks to you i'm a lousy bf"
The msg left me a huge impact since last night
10/26/2009 06:30:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
At times i'm always led to confusion. Total confusion.
When i'm showered with love and protection, next moment i get blames.
When i thought i had the best of the world, and to knw something hurtful.
I always wonder why, why is the world so cruel.
OR i aint suppose to be who i am
10/25/2009 08:55:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I am spoilt i am pampered BUT i din ask to be for who i am. I wldnt want to be like that at all.
Have survived 3 tough days and nights. Another 3 more days to go.
I knw baby is very against of me replacing a new one bcus he jus feels i havent learn my lesson and not zipping my bags. But , so what if it was to get a new one its nvr gonna replace old precious. Alt i knw i cld jus get a subsitute to get over things, that's how i always heal my sadness.
3days and yes, i got a nightmare again. It was the same scene repeating every nightmare. It was terrible, i woke up feeling painful. But i choose not to let it out..
I havent been reading to those sweet lovely moving on msges, wld u hold me and guide me on and replace those msges pls.
i don like of you training so hard with bruises wounds all over, i don like you getting so tired each time i see you, i don like knwing that you will b going for camp next mth .. in the past, it took me after many times to b able to trust u but now i'm so uncertain. But i cant tel you how i feel.
I keep telling myself to trust you trust you and trust you.
Anyway for now, i hope exam period will b over for you so u can concentrate on trainings and wldnt be so tiring having to shuffle here and there. I hope stress would jus be blown away esp yr money issue. i wish i cld help u but i cant do anything.
10/25/2009 09:48:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I still missing my precious E71, sigh. Esp when the laptop is extremelly lagg i wished i had precious with me so i cld blog fb or anything. esp when i am waiting for baby, i wished too i have it by my side. In the night before i slp i felt lost, i din had precious by my side to make me smile by reading past msges.
I survived this few mths thanks to those msges, i read them everyday despite khim's coldness to me, i reminded myself tru those lovely msges.
This 2days has really been a torture.
But still i had to remain calm.
Bad khim was telling me that he dont knw that it is good that i lost my fone so i can wake up but it seems i have not learn bcus i don feel any pain as i am gonna get a new one soon. He mentioned i shld learn and use some old phone for at least a mth or more. Ok, he is EVIL. But another side he is right i guess. Bcus i knw how spoilt i really am. But..... It was daddy who brought me this way, i knw i cant carry on being so spoilt and always insist on having what i want.
At the very least, i have a bf who doesnt spoils me so much as he does limits things. For my own good i knw. I'm sure many does loves the feeling of being spoilt right ? But there's always a limit to every things.
Yday in the morning i went to get my replacement of sim card, the guy was very nice to not charge me. Met khim for lunch & we headed to Yishun starbucks, he went for his appt. Studied after his appt, i entertained myself with mag. That's what i always do when he studys, so now i have a whole load of mags, i guess i have read this mths diff kind of mags. We headed home for dinner with his family. It was a great night tgt, in each other arms.Waited til 1am for his sis to b back so he cld drive me home.
Khim's exams are nearing, i hope he wldnt b so stress up. And understand i wld always be there.
I miss precious.
10/24/2009 02:32:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
A painful mistake learn
I have no one to blame but myself, yes, due to
carelessness, laziness and being afraid of troublesome. I have a bad habit of not zipping my bag so i can reach out for things easily, or jus leave things behind without noticing. And DUH now
i lost my hp.It was the most painful mistake i hav encounter, it was really hell hell. Greedy me excited i can get cookies, happily paid and walk up the stairs and realising that i lost my hp. I got the scare out of my wits, i was totally at a state of shock, luckily ws was calling my hp all the time going here and there with me. Emile & zx came down, thanks emile for searching carrying my bag and zx carrying my laptop. I was totally in shockness, called khim imme and he gt a shock. He came down like within mins, and i found out he was actu gonna surprise me but i gave him a even bigger surprise instead. Being always getting worked up and not being able to calm down me kinda pissed him off. He made me simmer down, qns and talked to me nicely.
Ws was calling the phone all along but to realise it was my voicemail music instead of the dialing tone. Sigh, the phone has already gone but all i cld do was jus cry. That process was so fcuking painful. Bcus :
#1 It was the first ever HP my daddy gotten for me and paid 500 without a single word
#2 It was like part of my life in whatever i do
#3 It was the one that kept me through boredom
#4 It was the one that diverts my attention whenever i wait for khim to reply me
#5 It was the one that allows me to fb, fml everynight before i slp
#6 It was the one that wakes me up every morning
#7 It was just like another part of me
#8 memories kept all in
#9 those msges that kept me moving when i had to read them everyday every night
#10 i treasure that phone so much then any others mainly it is from
daddy !
# nvr ending ...............................................................
The msges that i had lost made quite a big impact, a whole 6mths of lovely msges jus gone. Those up and downs that we had been through, those making up, those sweet silly msges jus to cheer me up... are all gone now.
Alt it hurts, i believe memories do stil live in my heart.
So, it was already lost, headed to FYP room. Khim sat down, talked and reason it all out to me. But stil the moment i sat down, thoughts flow in i started bursting into tears. Even during lecture, lecture was all about HP, WLAN. and wlan which was the main usage of my
E71. Khim drove me home, talked it all out with me and Daddy even intend to get a new one bcus he din wan mum to knw, it make me felt even worst. Baby checked his line, called starhub and he had a line to recontract. Without contract cost $800, freaking $800. I cant possibly let daddy get it, so baby let me use his line and cost only $348. But if the request of waiving $100 is approved,i only pay $248.
I know i know how
pampered how
spoilt am i. Baby told me i have to understand, learn from the mistake, not everything wil goes my way, and understand not everything i want i will have it.
I know the whole day my mind was all thinking that i want my E71 and i really want it. And baby even going all mights finding way to get it for me. I know baby is trying to not spoil me, let me work hard for what i want and not let things goes my way. But each time he sees me crys he feels totally helpless, all i cld do i jus cry neglecting the fact of him being upset too.
And yes, daddy gave me the money and now we are waiting for starhub to get back. Scold me spoilt and pampered i knw i deserve to be.
Knowing that i'm going on the wrong track, but the 2 beloved man in my life who love me so much let me be. Its not that they let things go my way but still they sat down and talk to me. I have to learn, to calm down and not jus cry.
Crying doesnt helps anything,
Daddy : "daddy cant always be there for you helping you, what if i'm not ard anymore. You are a big girl already but how can i ever be relieve to trust u to stand on yr own."
Baby: " Baby you are a big girl, you cant just cry each time things happen. You have to learn from your mistake and whatever it is i am always here"
It has been a real hell day going through the shits, but baby was al along with me excpt leaving for training in the evening. I felt so much better, how he held me and guide me through. Touching my face gently each time i look at him, hugging me when i burst into tears and not even scolding me for crying, and lastly kissed me softly saying he is there.
My precious is gone but the lesson learnt is even more precious.
And tel myself always rmb to ZIP my bag and CHECK each time i leave a place
Thanks baby and Daddy.
Baby, you make me realise that you do love me as much.
10/22/2009 08:25:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
mar doesnt likes sch :( mar doesnt likes 8am lesson :(
Every single day is jus 8am lesson and it sucks. Out of 4 days i have to bring laptop for 3days. Monday killer day, 2 heavy books + laptop. Ok i knw i'm very Pampered and i really dread bring laptop ard, i rather carry books. Bring laptop to sch is really like a killer to me, everyone knw how i always whine luh.
But what to do, its the
LAST sem i gotta treasure my last yr in poly isnt it ?
Last time i stil have khim ard sch, having him to help me here and there and i really do miss those days in sch with sudden appearance, driving me ard, passing my laptops to him whenever i don need. awww, i really miss those days.
I have to endure through this last sem,everyday 8am lesson esp monday the monday blues of carrying heavy equipments with books ard.
Today was only 3hrs lab, the moment i sat down for few mins,teacher say that there isnt any lab for first week but briefing blah blah blah. Less then an hr it ended. and at 920am. Freaking freaking early when i jus reached and sat down not long. So we headed to king albert park Mac to did those planning and stuffs, kinda excited ! :D Khim came to pick me up and we headed to vivo, he studied and we headed to catch 500days of summer. He went to study after while i read mags, entertained myself. we went down to collect my bag, i appreciate that. Had late dinner at Thomson and now i'm here feeling so sick for tml's 8am lesson adding on the heavy equipment ard sch & that 4hrs break. Luckily, we are doing Fyp.
Sigh, after a rush and busy day or perhaps "cold" day. I din had much time or chance to really feel him. He nvr does understands how it feels like, to him its nth and perhaps its that exciting training tml more anticipating rather den having me in his arms. Even with that unhappiness shown and sadness stil it didnt bother him much. Yes, it hurts even more. But what can i do? Ya, whine over here and jus get over it that's what i always do. Sigh, today's movie thought that nvr believe in miracles, fate, and true love, things are meant to be fight for. But still things that i always fight for eventually wasnt meant to be. The same issue over again, i nvr felt my importance in him. Rather , training is 1st, slp is 2nd, i am 3rd. Yes, he fell asleep in the movie today.
Mar, learn to get over it :(
something interesting :DD
our breakfast, 5 person total 10 cups of coffee & tea
look at amt of sugar and coffee mate used
Lastly, the man who turns me upside down.
//
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Hasnt been updating for long i know. School has already started and its the 3rd day already. The week before sch reopening was kinda great though some up and some really downs.
First was the 3 beautiful days we could had but ruin by his last min race but knwing the moment i see him i can jus forget every single unhappiness. True enough i really did esp seeing the smiles and happiness on him and how he clinch the medal. So, to make myself much better i met jie for shopping and manicure. She came down to Yck to take the bus down to TampineseOne with me. We went for shopping and did our nails. Khim came to pick us and we wen for dnr at Zion Road, waited for xavier kor (jie's bf) to off work and we headed to Geylang for Dou jiang you tiao and driving ard to look and see. Well, it was Khim suggestion of going here and there bcus he wanted to make it up to me.
The next day he brought me to CWP for pasta mania bcus of my cravings, bot chips and headed to East coast but when we reached the weather was BAD. Still, we sat down and enjoyed the packet of chips with salsa. Started pouring we ran to the car and den he came up with a silly idea, THUS we ran and ate at the bus stop in the rain :D We get that strange looks from ppl in the bus each time they passby. But still it was something silly we did tgt. I din wan to go back so early so we wen to have our favourite :D
Headed back home for dinner with his family bcus his mum cooked oven roast chicken and pork ribs and i love it so much so when he told me what his mum was cooking of course i agreed to go home for dnr.
Tue we went out for lunch as i was craving for Chong Pang's Chicken rice, we went to buy my fav salmon sashimi cus i have been craving since long time ago. Sent me home in the evening and he headed for training. Yes, there goes our 3days tgt, to be exact it was only 2days.
well, i should be contented.
taking his own sweet time
Last friday after some complaint whines few days before, he skipped training and brought me to sentosa. We slept at 2 3am bcus we fight again over the same issue. SIGH.
I had to bring up my mood and it does helps abit i guess.
my favourite 4mths old apple juice and he got it for me :D
what wld b perfect without cleo
His mum treated dinner for his dad bdae so we wen alexandra for dinner. WELL, again before dnr we had a huge fight. Crying in the shopping mall how shameful i knw but i cldnt care much. But i must say the quarrel was worth it, we made up beautifully with silly things he did after that jus to make me smile.
After dnr we went Mt Elizabeth to visit his aunt who had a op for the heart nerve. Sent his cousins back home after that .
......... and.....
we went sentosa the next day AGAIN. Met khim at kallang after his training, silly waved so happily the moment he saw me . It made up the bad morning i had frm the queen what else. Met up with yx and frens and we head to palawan beach.
okay, i gotta hit to bed, baby is waiting for me and 8am lesson tml. SHITS, i'm gonna have a hard time waking up
10/19/2009 09:02:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
it was always when my world was made beautiful, when i was brought up high to the peak. Everything came crashing down again.
But nevertheless, i always had someone who was always there to hear my complains whines and comforting me despite how i always complain and complain. And stil he din even make any noise but still always telling me tt he is always there when i need him and a shoulder to cry on. He is none other than my bf Mr Tay Jieyu. The best fren who always is there. Thanks bf and i too wil always be there.
10/16/2009 12:00:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I'm back home, it doesnt feels any nice being home bcus it makes me miss the presence of khim by my side. Having dnr tgt with his family, laughters, tv tgt, desserts on the floor, cuddling when the strong wind blows.. But nevertheless i have my wonderful daddy who shows me cares and loves. Its how amazing that to feel the love from daddy is just so simple but yet frm khim it seems so hard.
What is love without security and assurances?
Even if we are tgt everyday, it seems tt his heart isnt with me. How cld i ever feel my importance? how cld he ever assure me and give me the security. In e past despite how busy he was hw tired he was , he still nvr failed to shower and gave me all the love security and assurances. now i have to read tru messages to remind myself of everything.
What exactly is the problem lying between us? i wish i knw. Perhaps its the trust tt i no longer have. he always seems to be hiding so much things frm me, jus like last monday. Many many things are jus running tru me.
I wish someone cld tell me hw i shld move on and forget everything, how i shld trust him all over again, hw i shld b assured he is there. I guess his the only one who can do that, through words and actions, but he who doesnt.
Got this frm bf's blog : Funny how everyone thinks that making promises will somehow help. In the end it will only hurt you more when they break them.
i can no longer rely on telling you how i feel bcus i knw what the circumstances would be. Everything is jus kept in me.
10/13/2009 10:38:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
It was supposed to be our full 3days tgt after fcuking long time. When we din even had our holiday this year. I thought i cld wake up to an hr plus and i wil get to see you, but when i saw the msg in the morning i cldnt get to slp anymore but feel fcuked up. why isit that things are always against us, why now ? why today ? Its jus so fcuked up. I feel damn upset damn disappointed, so ? i guess i feel more anger. i'm tired, tired of all this shits.
Each time things happen al u cld tel me is you wil make it up i've heard this tons of times. But each time knwing when i see u i can jus forget things. Why isit that i'm the one feeling upset and u don even feel and knw anything.Why am i the one always giving and accomodating ? I hate you, i hate time i hate whoever who causes things to go opposite. Fcuk it. I don even feel like spending the rest of the 2days anymore.
Forget it, something to brighten up. Mrsingapore at Zicra on friday. Marine parade was damn freaking hot, when he wore his swimming trunks out, i tell u his body was awww..
I only have some of their photos, anyway the winner was frm Bishan.
Before that we had Pizza hut at Cwp and both of them were pestering me to go along, in e end i have to like beg khim to let me go.
After he got change and heading back for me to change
Labels: never take things for granted
10/11/2009 10:05:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Again, i was told to be independent. i knw hw everyone is always drilling in to me how i shldnt rely on him and stand on my own. I knw its all for my own good but each time i hear this i feel extremely down.Yes real down. Things are always easier when said just like how i always say i will be since 12345 yrs ago but still i'm struggling. Nobody likes being so weak so useless. I used to felt that a guy who loves you would be more than happy to give you al the support and jus like a bear always letting you lie on. But i was wrong, i was wrong. Things were never tt simple at all, until a person changes.
Yes, i am being emo again. Feeling extremely down. ( i wish best friend was here encouraging me)
I knw its cause frm the very first beginning and all along he spoilt me. But tt was when i felt he love me and saving the best for me. He was the one who started out being by my side, being wherever i was, never leaving me alone no matter where i go, and also insist of me being by him wherever he goes. After 2yrs, everyone wants me to be on my own and even you too. Isnt it so cruel to me? Whats wrong when we are always as one, isnt that what we used to be? then why is everything so cruel by taking it al from me. Bring me up to heaven and ask me to fly down by my own.
Isnt that just how am i suppose to be ? I'm sure every gals are demanding towards their love ones. Yes, i expect him to share everything with me b it big or small. And yet again he was the one who made me do it when he doesnt. Doubts and suspision always built and stack up each time and was nvr cleared. Ame's right, his someone who doesnt knw how to talk and always hurt me. Don everyone loves compliments?
Sigh, i'm tired of thinking and typing already.
Things jus aint like it use to be anymore, i cld whine i cld cry i cld be upset but nw i cld jus bottle it all inside and wait till i wake up the next day forgetting about it. Bcus everything now just leads to nth but quarrels. I'm sick and tired of quarrels, it causes bad heartaches bad eyes. It use to be both of us feeling hurt hugging at the end of everything fighting for faults. But nw each time i'm all alone feeling upset and tearing like fcuk
Timetable is out, and is shits. Many days wasted, 2hr lecture a day. freaking slack timetable.
10/10/2009 12:26:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
:DDDD i've finally placed an order on my BAG :DD
BUTTT i jus realise i wanted to get the limited longchamp .. AHH nvm.
Getting my victoria secret bag but on a condition with baby i can only buy a dress for the next one mth. Wait, i think he say 2.. AHHH i knw its such a torture. :((
Someone save me pls or let me strike the lottery ? :)
Just nw when baby came over, he say lets take bus to hougang mall, i was like huh thought we are going for botak jones. Then he look at me saying ydae u say u wan eat pasta mania mahs. SOOOO, i was again HUH hougang mall got pasta mania mahs. THEENN he give the =.= u were the one who told me hougang mall has.
HAHA,in e end we took a bus to compasspoint cus i told him i was jus anyhow saying but Hougang mall really has pasta mania !
Its okay, we had pizza hut in e end :D
i saw so many of the dresses that i loveee, BUT baby restricted me and even talk condition with me but yet i still agreed :( Bcus if baby don pay half i wil have no dresses the whole mth at all. Silly baby luhs .
This few days he makes me really so happy and warm.
this photo was taken at Genting when Mum asked me to take cause its a shape of mushroom. So being pampered me was complaining how dirty the seat was. Baby came over sit down and put me on his lap.
this is how he always give the best to me. My stupid baby:D
10/08/2009 05:56:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I am so damn tempted to get this, have been wanting this for a very long time but spore doesnt carry Victoria Secret. So ydae itchy hands of mine went searching online and dennnn i found a blogspot carrying victoria secret bags and products frm USA.
Ok, slap me plsss :(
sooo, i told baby and i tot he wld nag at me luh but he din even scold me but still say to pay half for me so i can get it. I was so shoccckkk.
Dont knw what's wrong with him luh, he has been so sweet this few days, with those silly msges, volunteering to pay for me when he always tells me no money , have money then say. Coming to me after gym training to have lunch with me. I'm a happy girl l :DDD
But then, today's FYP cancel so we have to rush tru everything next week ! and is the last week of holidays , and nw no more sentosa . SIGH.
Anyone kind soul interested in going sentosa with me :( i've been dying to go there and nw sch is gng to reopen i doubt i will ever get to go there.
:'(
Anyway, thanks baby for always coming al the way down.
i am starving nw waiting for him to come dwn, packed lunch for daddy cus his hungry and still feeling so paisei insist of not having baby buy for him. Silly! And baby ydae say to go Botak Jones. Hippeeee!
10/08/2009 12:18:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Nothing gonna change my love for you
Nvr knw i would be troubled all about everything again, have been feeling so down since ydae. The past week was a great one, no cold wars, no quarrels nth but just real pure love.
Til then i have been reminded of so many things, it sucks. it rly does. When u knw that u no longer can trust him. He was the only one who always shows me hw promises are true, the one who never fail to fufil promises. But nw i knw words and promises given are nth but just lies and lies and plainly for the sake to shut me up.
just like how he assure and convince me into letting him join SIMdb, saying hw he wil put me as priority. If we have anything on definitly us we me will the first on list. How he convince i wld still have him on most days as trainings are only tue sun. But yet nw even fri & sat, i've forgotten when was the last time we had a full day tgt, meeting up for breakfast heading home and cuddle tru the day. I've been waiting for 123456789 for him to bring me for sentosa, barrage, east coast, botanic garden, everything ! Each time i qns him the ans wld b i will bring u there , but still i'm waiting since 123456789 mths ago.Holidays is ending in a wink of eye, to even go sentosa with him i've to wait till nx fri after his training in the afternoon. Tel me hw i shldnt b upset wen he was the one who assure i'm him priority, how he assure he wont b commited and definitly place me as first. But nw db is everything to him once again & yet again i have to wait and wait and accommodate to all his timing. Tel me how can i ever build the courage to trust him. Ask me if it is tough , if it is tiring, NO for once it isnt.
Well, perhaps i have rly learn what it means to accept and live with everything, be contented.
But, how love rly wonders it rly amaze me bcus, all i long for is the weekend ahead to spent well tgt. I cld forgo clubbing even though how i had been waiting for jus to have the 3days ahead with you.
It feels sad, and the same issue again that he doesnt even needs me. it doesnt feels good feeling u are unwanted, at home and even to my only one. it sucks. at least in the past whenever he tells me hw i'm his strengths during training days when he pictures me at the end waiting for him, it makes me really happy to knw hw impt i was. But nw, i'm not his ultimate goal anymore. How he always say our future is what he is working for, now he doesnt anymore. How my name always appears no matter on msn fb but now it seems i'm nth related at all, my comments posts seems redundant.
Why isit that someone could just change so rapidly, it seems so terrifying.
alt this 2days he has been uber sweet to me, even when i was angry he still do everything to make me smile. It caught me surprise to knw ydae he came al the way down to sch 2 have lunch with me, took 74 al the way and send me home and den take 74 back to sch again. His silly baby face holding me tightly in the bus staying awake knwing i was unwell, it warms me so deeply. It has been since long you held me close and say you wanna smell and feel me. Yes,i admit it makes me fall even deeper.
i knw hw he has been putting effort to shower me with love and care, i feel it, i appreciate it, i treasure it, i cherish it. i'm sure we will move on better and hw tough it may seems we wil get by. i not upset but smiling each day bcus i knw he wld be smiling too
Deep down, i really miss the one who had love me unconditionally, always giving and saving the best for me.
If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young
And we both knowthey'll take us
Where we want to go
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
Labels: i love the way you sing to me
10/07/2009 08:33:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
So sudden, i thought everything has ended and our happy days are building up. No more quarrels no more cold wars but yet today .. It took me ages since the last time to jus built up the trust al once again but yet today in a split second u jus crashed it down. It felt terrible.
To knw that words cld jus turn and turn here & there. I cld no longer find the trust bcus watever u do u cld still turn yr words round and u are always right.
i finally knw that he is the one who always leave me alone now. Whenever i was always upset or when we fight he wld always come to me and nvr leave me alone. But now he jus walk off leaving me al alone.
He leave me in such a confusion.
Blowing me hot & cold, the very next moment i'm confused how is he feeling for me.
if i could, i would do anything just to bring my old baby back to me.
It has been a terrible day, once again left alone walking ard.
10/05/2009 08:23:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Found some fotos in my camera and den..
Ready for something niceeeeE?
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hahas!
Baby is gonna kill me if he sees this, OMG
*RUNSS*
This was Batam trip, Mum giving baby money
Damn cheap, u pay only 20+ for whole trip & get this whole loads of seafood.
Crab, prawn, calamaris, gong gong, a bowl of soup, kang kong, fish.
It was a tiring trip though, we caught the 2nd last ferry back and reached Spore only at 10plus, that weekend was the long national day weekend, Dan rented a car and came to picked us. After tt pick Liyun & we still headed for supper at quality hotel.
It was a dead tiring weekend.
Malaysia's trip with baby !
my all time love Ah koong fishball mee and i am still thinking about it everyday
FYP.
Wai seng the actor,
me the director,
zx the camera man.
But thanks to him, its was hard having to fall so many times
Lastly, last fri.
after we woke up i was in a foul mood whining & losing temper at baby.
Den e nx few mins after he shower i went baby take picture.
I think he must have been scolding me in his head.
my fav pic
2 more weeks of holidays!
i haven it been to the places i wan to yet. !
SIGGHHHH
//
Out of the darkness and into the sun
When will E71 stocks be arriving. I am so desperate for it now. 1 week has pass i'm so afraid that the secret will be out soon. I'm so afraid that there wont b anymore stocks coming in as E72 is out. I have been calling all starhubs shops the whole day and so unbelievable the whole singapore and starhub is out of stock. Totally unbelievable.. At the very least, i would feel much better if i knw when wld it be arriving :(
our breakfast, 5 person total 10 cups of coffee & tea
heaven, heaven , HEAVEN
my favourite 4mths old apple juice and he got it for me :D
what wld b perfect without cleo
the nice environment.
cute little cup, cost $5.80
birthday beloved gal
Left ard 11plus i was so "seh"
check out how red i was.
This was Batam trip, Mum giving baby money
Damn cheap, u pay only 20+ for whole trip & get this whole loads of seafood.
my all time love Ah koong fishball mee and i am still thinking about it everyday
FYP.
