Simplicity♥
Simplicity | Eternal | Love | Life | You
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Something cute happen yday, After baby fallen asleep i couldnt sleep so i was tossing ard and he woke up in his sleep saying come i tug you to bed, peck me on my forehead and said I love you.
The usual routine he does before we always sleep.
And then that didnt happen once but twice.
SOO i think he was used to saying that to me everytime and even in his sleep he says that too.
=.=
3/31/2010 09:14:00 PM
BitterSweet
Sometimes things arnt that sweet as you expect afterall.
Stayovers are nice when its frequent, but when it isnt i feel irritated.
Everytime before sleep we fight we laugh till his sister can hear us and then end up we got mad and quarrel. Somehow its Silly.
But yday this stupid khim made me real mad caused he lose his temper at me, soo i make a big fuss and then he got mad turn on the light and instead apologise, what's the point when he always do wrong things and then say sorry? Soo i told him to sleep outside and this stupid boy really walked out.
I fell asleep and woke up knowing he has fallen asleep, went out woke him up back to the room to sleep.
Anyway our plan was suppose to slack at home but he forgotten he has work and my stuffs were at his place.
BABY you owe more stayoverss ok, esp when there is car and you are free.
You are so mad busy !
Cant wait for Fri for our exercise day, Sat the picnic day.
OK this are just what khim say but i presume it will nvr come through, we shall see !
And also our korean bbq next week :))
GV marina is havin the date night preview at 15bucks with popcorns and spa vouchers next tuesday !
Unfortunately its on a tuesday :(
Its good for couples bcus there's also a talk to see the differences between couples before the show.
Well :(
3/31/2010 08:46:00 PM
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
when you always wish and want something, and then you get tired of asking or wanting, you will find that you just learn how to just live with it and not wanting anymore instead.
.....................................
i got tired of looking for jobs already alt there is still 3mths away.
Ok, i am busy being bored.
Everyday just meeting khim and slack the whole day at his place.
We havent been going out since awhile, other than just yday movie with his friends.
MR500 is over, HEY its just only the beginning alright.
After MR500 would be his exams and then his preparation for June Race.
When was the last time we had a stayover ?
Alt we are always together but actual spending time together is just so minimal.
Saturday's the 35th
another 1mth to go but yet so not anticipating at all !
3/30/2010 03:31:00 PM
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I don't know why, but I just kinda miss you. Alot.
3/27/2010 11:26:00 PM
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Confused.
For once i am so stucked on my future path, alt i have finally registered RMIT and then i suddenly felt so regretful. And that SIM certs doesnt seems to be recognise now. What's wrong? i thought that SIM certs was starting to built up in spore and why isit down now ??!
And then now adding on australia certs are getting useless and not recognised by many companies. UOL is the best choice and i knw parents are pushing me to, but i am just afraid that i'm unable to take the stress and i don wanna waste their money. Isit that i have no choice but to choose UOL, somehow it seems that this challenge is kinda fun and a way to learn how to fight this ordeal for my life.
Sigh, i somehow feel that i disappoint them by not having the results They have been bugging me to apply for local U or get back to ICT. But somehow there isnt much interest anymore ! if i follow them and go ahead, i wldnt even be happy or perform any results right ?
For once i really feel so stress over such issues. Terrible headache.
ok, i know i desperately need a job now because money is running out and my 'bangala' bf is waiting for me to support him as well.
Trying to hunt and going for interviews, what best is despite whining complaining, this nice bangala bf still tries to go with me to interviews. I appreciate this very much and its kinda touching too.
AWWW he changed ! he nvr use to complain and whine, now he does all day long. about carrying my bags and me being lazy. BUT stil he does it for me after the complains.
3/24/2010 10:35:00 PM
Hell Week
Saturday, March 20, 2010
It's gonna be a hell week, for me. for US.
Bcus pass few weeks baby did not go for Safra training, so he had to this week bcus its the last week. Well, who ask the helpful him agree to row for them. Then add on to double stress for him.
So, today a saturday we didnt spend any much time tgt. except a very short dinner after he ended, we had ICE3 after & headed home. Sometimes it seems so much better when we are out with friends bcus we wld be tgt till wee hours but he will be tired for training the next day. I rather he head home and rest early then. Tomorrow after training he have to go back home to do his projects and there goes the weekend for us, subsequent next week is MR already.
It seems that we meet up almost everyday, but in fact since 123243403 we have spend quality time together alone. Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions, sun burns, work. Esp that wisdom tooth and this funny boy has sun burn on his lips with blisters which was really gross but painful.
i wish that this hell week get over fast, not only the weekends but he has school 4 days this week. Super packed !
Anyway everytime when race is coming up, this will happen and then after race he will be super sweet and nice and then start becoming cold again.
I've been thinking alot, i really do wonder, is he the one who can brings me happiness for the rest of my life. Or rather most importantly, accept me for who i am? love me for who i am? cherish me for who i am? Loving someone includes loving every part of her/him, and to accept every flaws. And if you really have accepted, would you still complain and bring it up?
I used to do that and felt that why isit that this guy who has so much flaws and flaws that i cld nvr accepted or thought i would love this person. Until recently i realised i have really accepted him for who he is. Bcus i no longer think and think why is he like that, or gets really pissed that i hated him so much. Instead, i remind myself of all the wonderful things of him each time i couldnt take it anymore and love him even more.
Is he really the one who can accept me for who i am?
i know that i love you i know that i want to spend my life with you, But i just cant trust that you will love me forever, you may love me now, you may love me before, but can i trust that you will love me for life?
I wish i could put off all the bad feelings away and fully trust you once again
Because you are the man that i love with all my heart, give you all i could to shower you the love, care, protect you when i can. You are the man that shower me with all your love, open your arms to protect me, give me warmth, never fail to make me happy, hold me tight in your arms and i know that you are the one who would always be there for me. Baby i love you, and i can give you my heart that i will always hold u you tight & never leave you alone.
3/20/2010 10:02:00 PM
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Stil very in a lazy mode to update anything.
Alright, last sat we all went for steamboat at bugis for wz with jeslyn, enqi, aaron, andy.
Enqi and Aaron had to leave so Andy drove us ard, we went for Tau huey again !
we dapao to laselle and then sad on the fake grass with amazing scenery.
we tried camwhoring, very sad i didnt bring my camera :(
So thus nth nice came out.
Honey had early training so Andy sent us back, he stayed over and woke up freaking early & left for training. Came home after training but caught in the nvr ending heavy rain, went down to fetch him and dinner with family. Daddy sent us home to get the car, we sped for KOI<3 & den shaker fries to get home for transformer BUT it was finishing.
i slept only for 3hrs while he fell asleep so freaking fast, sent daddy to the airport, came home and sent sis to sch. Got breakfast for his family, and unknowingly we slept all the way till evening.
Today i went to get my laptop & this very nice boy of mine last minute told me to meet him at Tampinese. We had lunch and shop ard DEN he saw battlefield 2 and bugged me the whole day telling me all about battlefield, guns. Acting like a soldier in the shopping mall. SILLY can.
THEN i wanted Koi and he drove me to AMK to get them and send me home, while he left for sch :)
I cldnt take it and texted daddy, weather there is extreme warm at 34degrees plus dusty. Felt so much better after msging him. Still, i miss him.
Cant wait for Friday Sentosa, give me good sunny sun pls.
Trying out
3/16/2010 08:14:00 PM
Monday, March 15, 2010
horrible feeling.
I know I'm behaving like a child but I just can't help it.. I know I'm someone who isn't always at home, fun and leisure all come first but I am a super daddy girl
Since young I have always been dependent on parents. Mum does everything, dad is always there to protect and give me the best.
Ever since few years ago, things changed. Alt ever since young mom have been ultra mega bias towards me but I have gotten used to it. Then daddy will always be there backing me up and understanding me.. Alt he is someone who doesn't knws how to express his feelings but still he gave us the best nvr fail to say no to us..
Despite the problems between him and mom,he still put up a strong front. Alt I feel that the act they are putting up infront of us is so fake but the least I know daddy nvr wanna see us hurt or caught in between.
Alt how much I dislike and despite her for treating this family esp dad like this,I still respect her as a mother.
its just a short 4days and daddy will be back but because cambodia is so dangerous I am so worried. its a strong fear I have that I may lose him or something, I always have this very strong feeling that he can't take those things happening at home and just walk out on us. Adding on knowing that he always have that thought.
This kind of feeling is really horrible. I rmb once he just have to go KL for a night and I hug and cried. Now that I have learn to control my feelings but the moment I step home I just can't help it
Daddy come home soon safetly, I love you
3/15/2010 10:29:00 PM
Thursday, March 11, 2010
The recent scandal news has been such a disgrace.
i don understand why isit that human cant treasure and cherish what they have, the wonderful family & wife given but yet abuse them.
Before even doing or starting anything, did you ever thought of yr wife ?
And yet stil saying you love yr wife , if you love her in the first place why did u ever do this to hurt her ?
Baby told me few days ago about his teammate having rumors with another gal in the team. And his gf went to ask baby about tt gal and stuffs. It is wrong isnt it ? to ask about yr own bf's thing behind his back? Dont you even trust him ?
But still i believe the guy was at fault, he was really close with that gal and didnt even told his gf.
I RLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
WHY
why cant one treasure what is given to you, if you really did had something with the gal,just tell yr gf and not hide here and there.
And can you imagine the hurt to know yr guy has cheated on you ? someone that you love and also love you once BEFORE ?
ok, maybe i'm overexaggerating towards this issue, but i really feel sad for those victims.
mrTay u better not let me catch you hiding anything from me or any scandals rumors. you guys always thinks that by not telling us is always better lest we get worked up, overthink or make a big fuss.
But little did you knw the more u hide the more worst it gets if we found out.
Rmb there was once he hide from me tt he exchanged numbers with a GIRL on fb and that girl accidentally ringed him.
That was the worst we had, i got so mad that we didnt talk the whole night,i just went to slp and him cldnt even sleep but flood my hp.
no one likes behind hidden from things be it the past, yday i found out something, it may be nth to you. And you got guilty just because i was quiet. In fact, no. i didnt felt anything for it.
But this few days makes me really wonder, what was it that had held us moving since last year, was it really that magical strong love we have?
Or isit just for the sake that we had already gotten use to each other?
Things changed, and it changed really fast.
i have to admit that i am someone that gets sick and tired of things real easy if there isnt anything new.
days now are just so plain, unlike the past despite everynight we still treasure the moments and enjoy the feeling of us in each other arms. BUT now everyday is just like a routine, we go out have meals with friends, chit chat and end the night quickly. Even when we go out, the feeling of holding each other isnt there.
At much i want to remise the feeling of the loving us in the past but the feeling just isnt right. why.
we missed out so damn much of celebrations, valentine's day, anniversaries. due to financial but i believe without money there is still other way we cld do things together romantically. But we din even tried.
physical contacts get lesser and lesser.
Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions.
at times when i wished to build things up once again, but at the thought of building it up all alone demoralize me down.
Seeing you getting tired and you limping around yday, amazingly it somehow didnt get me down like i use to, After thinking i realise i was just numb, numb to all your hurts aches and tiredness. all i could was just qns myself why isit that you cld nvr just be like any ordinary person with no aches or hurts.
Perhaps i'm tired and numb of all this worrying for you.
But no worries, i figured out that despite all this deep deep down i knw i still love you like i use to alt i dont knw why i get so damn irritated with you now and then. And i knw you do still care and love me esp with those msges you send me before after work and training.
i always believe the the love we had was nvr easy to come, so i will always treasure what we have
3/11/2010 10:39:00 AM
Monday, March 8, 2010
*This isnt anything of starting a fight , i just need somewhere to let everything out, dont read if you dont want to*i don wish to quarrel or start a fightYou disappoint me.
From the very starting you shld already knw hw pampered how spoilt am i. So pls stop gng on and on how spoilt and pampered i am. Saying once is enought.
This is the way i am.
I din force you to accept me, i din force you to love me. didnt you knw it well from the start?
This is what i am blessed with.
AND i can say i am very proud and happy to be who i am
and not gettin a job during this vacation bcus after whole 3yrs of studies all i want is to relax and enjoy before moving on to another journey of study life. While you graduated and waiting for SIM did i forced you to get a job right after?
BUT yet you are going ard ranting that i dont want to get a job.
Forcing me to go get one and also emphasising and agreeing to others that if i don work don bother about you and stop you from working and complaining that you have no time for me.
If you don even wish to spend time or give time for me or even want to, i'm fine. I can tell you i wont bother a single bit about you and wanting to spend time.
I understand the suituation of either one of us having a job bcus our expenses are very high.
AND also you have endless training coming up.
SO WHAT, telling me that you have no time for me.
Does that means work+endless training 7days a week full and i cant even make a noise that i want to see you.
AND if that one day happen, it means i don even feel a thing for you.
I knw you love me i knw you care BUT at the least tt i had thought in yr shoes, HAVE YOU ? and tt after so long you jus keep emphasising bcus i am spoilt and pampered ? AND that my parents don even scold me a single bit, so you saying bcus they dont and you must do it ?
HOW WLD I FEEL?
i am yr girlfriend to remind you, someone you used to love. And nw u treating me like this saying such things to me repeatedly makes me damn bloody disappointed and hurt. Using that harsh tone on me and saying things about slapping, you yourself knw that hw much you cant take it if someone slap you. and i can tel you if someone ever slap me, the consequenses wld b hell.
It makes me feel YOU changed so much
It makes me feel that YOU don even miss me a single bit despite yr busy schedule Things isnt the way it use to be anymore.
IT hurts me so much when all you emphasise is me disturbing you and stopping you from working and agreeing with them. i knw i did said even hurting words to you but i used them all in a joking tone but you gave me all those hurtful harsh tone. I mentioned let me rest and i wil start searching for jobs even if i don don worry i will keep myself occupied and nt bother about you a single bit.
But stil i knw you love me
3/08/2010 10:56:00 PM
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Ever since the last day of sch, i have been so lazy.
Lazy to even upload photos
Lazy to even use and on the com
Lazy to blog
Lazy to find a job
A very bad sign
5mths of vacation, i don even feel like working but enjoy and relax before another journey of sch life.
Then again, what can i do this 5mths ? i'm gonna turn into a pig or hippo or something by rotting everyday just eating play sleep.
5mths without any aim or goals.
But i'm just so very lazy to hunt for jobs.
Adding on if this carry on, no extra income for savings, for overseas trips, and khim wants me to support him huh.
Ever since CNY til now, the texas crazes is still going on, last sat was pub with classmates and we slept at 5am and woke up in the afternoon for texas with EQ,Aaron,Jeslyn,Gwen coming over.
Fri night we all met up for supper at Selegie, Chicken rice, tau huey, AND wasted 1hr or more just discussing on the next location.
And decided on Holland Swensens. Four cars 9 of us.
Yday night again, picked EQ & Jeslyn and met Charles for dinner for Ampang Yong Tau Fu <3 :)
went to charles place and play TEXAS, Aaron,Gwen,Andy came after. OH we lost 20bucks! and i lost 17bucks for MJ on friday.
Supper at Thomsom Roti prata next.
Next sat buffet for wenzheng coming back.
i always tel khim, our schedule nvr allows us to gain both side of the world. When we get close to one side the other side gets so far apart tt its been long since we hanged out with bestestlove.
Even if it was hanging out with any side of the grp we still had to always leave early. BUT this 2 weeks has been so much fun and happy that we neednt have to rush back home or so bcus of his wisdom tooth MC.
But then its back to normal next week, MR is coming up. AGAIN nvr ending training and AS USUAL rowing for Safra THEN even extra training on top of the nvr ending training right ? I stil rmb last yr we had a big fight over SUCH SAME issue again, SP & SAFRA bcus of 6days training.
im tired of this same issue.
Next week even worst, khim is busy workin frm mon-fri with classes and trainings at night. And then sat sun with his that nvr ending training.
This is one reason why i shld go get a job.
arrgghhhh
I need do get many things done first,
* Remove my damn gels nails
* manicure
* pedicure
* waxing
Labels: texas
3/07/2010 10:40:00 AM
Monday, March 1, 2010
at this time falling sick, high up and down fever, headache, nauseous.
Limit reach after so many weeks.
Nt bad huh, when 2 sleepless night it will all start acting up.
Exams ended, marks 3years of poly.
Lotsa fun celebrations to be updated.
I wanna get well soon bcus I haven even had enough fun yet plus I've gt mad craving for korean food for few mths badly !!
Honey's not auto! After accompanying him for so many days and wed ahead after his wisdom tooth extraction again. Still need me ask :((((((
BUT somethin miracle happen today, gonna update about it tml :)))
LOVE ya honey alt you always irritate me but when I'm sick you are here taking good care of me with lotsa love :)
It will be my turn on wed :)
Korean food!!
Labels: korean food
3/01/2010 10:35:00 PM
Something cute happen yday, After baby fallen asleep i couldnt sleep so i was tossing ard and he woke up in his sleep saying come i tug you to bed, peck me on my forehead and said I love you.
The usual routine he does before we always sleep.
And then that didnt happen once but twice.
SOO i think he was used to saying that to me everytime and even in his sleep he says that too.
=.=
3/31/2010 09:14:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
BitterSweet
Sometimes things arnt that sweet as you expect afterall.
Stayovers are nice when its frequent, but when it isnt i feel irritated.
Everytime before sleep we fight we laugh till his sister can hear us and then end up we got mad and quarrel. Somehow its Silly.
But yday this stupid khim made me real mad caused he lose his temper at me, soo i make a big fuss and then he got mad turn on the light and instead apologise, what's the point when he always do wrong things and then say sorry? Soo i told him to sleep outside and this stupid boy really walked out.
I fell asleep and woke up knowing he has fallen asleep, went out woke him up back to the room to sleep.
Anyway our plan was suppose to slack at home but he forgotten he has work and my stuffs were at his place.
BABY you owe more stayoverss ok, esp when there is car and you are free.
You are so mad busy !
Cant wait for Fri for our exercise day, Sat the picnic day.
OK this are just what khim say but i presume it will nvr come through, we shall see !
And also our korean bbq next week :))
GV marina is havin the date night preview at 15bucks with popcorns and spa vouchers next tuesday !
Unfortunately its on a tuesday :(
Its good for couples bcus there's also a talk to see the differences between couples before the show.
Well :(
3/31/2010 08:46:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
when you always wish and want something, and then you get tired of asking or wanting, you will find that you just learn how to just live with it and not wanting anymore instead.
.....................................
i got tired of looking for jobs already alt there is still 3mths away.
Ok, i am busy being bored.
Everyday just meeting khim and slack the whole day at his place.
We havent been going out since awhile, other than just yday movie with his friends.
MR500 is over, HEY its just only the beginning alright.
After MR500 would be his exams and then his preparation for June Race.
When was the last time we had a stayover ?
Alt we are always together but actual spending time together is just so minimal.
Saturday's the 35th
another 1mth to go but yet so not anticipating at all !
3/30/2010 03:31:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I don't know why, but I just kinda miss you. Alot.
3/27/2010 11:26:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Confused.
For once i am so stucked on my future path, alt i have finally registered RMIT and then i suddenly felt so regretful. And that SIM certs doesnt seems to be recognise now. What's wrong? i thought that SIM certs was starting to built up in spore and why isit down now ??!
And then now adding on australia certs are getting useless and not recognised by many companies. UOL is the best choice and i knw parents are pushing me to, but i am just afraid that i'm unable to take the stress and i don wanna waste their money. Isit that i have no choice but to choose UOL, somehow it seems that this challenge is kinda fun and a way to learn how to fight this ordeal for my life.
Sigh, i somehow feel that i disappoint them by not having the results They have been bugging me to apply for local U or get back to ICT. But somehow there isnt much interest anymore ! if i follow them and go ahead, i wldnt even be happy or perform any results right ?
For once i really feel so stress over such issues. Terrible headache.
ok, i know i desperately need a job now because money is running out and my 'bangala' bf is waiting for me to support him as well.
Trying to hunt and going for interviews, what best is despite whining complaining, this nice bangala bf still tries to go with me to interviews. I appreciate this very much and its kinda touching too.
AWWW he changed ! he nvr use to complain and whine, now he does all day long. about carrying my bags and me being lazy. BUT stil he does it for me after the complains.
3/24/2010 10:35:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Hell Week
It's gonna be a hell week, for me. for US.
Bcus pass few weeks baby did not go for Safra training, so he had to this week bcus its the last week. Well, who ask the helpful him agree to row for them. Then add on to double stress for him.
So, today a saturday we didnt spend any much time tgt. except a very short dinner after he ended, we had ICE3 after & headed home. Sometimes it seems so much better when we are out with friends bcus we wld be tgt till wee hours but he will be tired for training the next day. I rather he head home and rest early then. Tomorrow after training he have to go back home to do his projects and there goes the weekend for us, subsequent next week is MR already.
It seems that we meet up almost everyday, but in fact since 123243403 we have spend quality time together alone. Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions, sun burns, work. Esp that wisdom tooth and this funny boy has sun burn on his lips with blisters which was really gross but painful.
i wish that this hell week get over fast, not only the weekends but he has school 4 days this week. Super packed !
Anyway everytime when race is coming up, this will happen and then after race he will be super sweet and nice and then start becoming cold again.
I've been thinking alot, i really do wonder, is he the one who can brings me happiness for the rest of my life. Or rather most importantly, accept me for who i am? love me for who i am? cherish me for who i am? Loving someone includes loving every part of her/him, and to accept every flaws. And if you really have accepted, would you still complain and bring it up?
I used to do that and felt that why isit that this guy who has so much flaws and flaws that i cld nvr accepted or thought i would love this person. Until recently i realised i have really accepted him for who he is. Bcus i no longer think and think why is he like that, or gets really pissed that i hated him so much. Instead, i remind myself of all the wonderful things of him each time i couldnt take it anymore and love him even more.
Is he really the one who can accept me for who i am?
i know that i love you i know that i want to spend my life with you, But i just cant trust that you will love me forever, you may love me now, you may love me before, but can i trust that you will love me for life?
I wish i could put off all the bad feelings away and fully trust you once again
Because you are the man that i love with all my heart, give you all i could to shower you the love, care, protect you when i can. You are the man that shower me with all your love, open your arms to protect me, give me warmth, never fail to make me happy, hold me tight in your arms and i know that you are the one who would always be there for me. Baby i love you, and i can give you my heart that i will always hold u you tight & never leave you alone.
3/20/2010 10:02:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Stil very in a lazy mode to update anything.
Alright, last sat we all went for steamboat at bugis for wz with jeslyn, enqi, aaron, andy.
Enqi and Aaron had to leave so Andy drove us ard, we went for Tau huey again !
we dapao to laselle and then sad on the fake grass with amazing scenery.
we tried camwhoring, very sad i didnt bring my camera :(
So thus nth nice came out.
Honey had early training so Andy sent us back, he stayed over and woke up freaking early & left for training. Came home after training but caught in the nvr ending heavy rain, went down to fetch him and dinner with family. Daddy sent us home to get the car, we sped for KOI<3 & den shaker fries to get home for transformer BUT it was finishing.
i slept only for 3hrs while he fell asleep so freaking fast, sent daddy to the airport, came home and sent sis to sch. Got breakfast for his family, and unknowingly we slept all the way till evening.
Today i went to get my laptop & this very nice boy of mine last minute told me to meet him at Tampinese. We had lunch and shop ard DEN he saw battlefield 2 and bugged me the whole day telling me all about battlefield, guns. Acting like a soldier in the shopping mall. SILLY can.
THEN i wanted Koi and he drove me to AMK to get them and send me home, while he left for sch :)
I cldnt take it and texted daddy, weather there is extreme warm at 34degrees plus dusty. Felt so much better after msging him. Still, i miss him.
Cant wait for Friday Sentosa, give me good sunny sun pls.
Trying out
3/16/2010 08:14:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
horrible feeling.
I know I'm behaving like a child but I just can't help it.. I know I'm someone who isn't always at home, fun and leisure all come first but I am a super daddy girl
Since young I have always been dependent on parents. Mum does everything, dad is always there to protect and give me the best.
Ever since few years ago, things changed. Alt ever since young mom have been ultra mega bias towards me but I have gotten used to it. Then daddy will always be there backing me up and understanding me.. Alt he is someone who doesn't knws how to express his feelings but still he gave us the best nvr fail to say no to us..
Despite the problems between him and mom,he still put up a strong front. Alt I feel that the act they are putting up infront of us is so fake but the least I know daddy nvr wanna see us hurt or caught in between.
Alt how much I dislike and despite her for treating this family esp dad like this,I still respect her as a mother.
its just a short 4days and daddy will be back but because cambodia is so dangerous I am so worried. its a strong fear I have that I may lose him or something, I always have this very strong feeling that he can't take those things happening at home and just walk out on us. Adding on knowing that he always have that thought.
This kind of feeling is really horrible. I rmb once he just have to go KL for a night and I hug and cried. Now that I have learn to control my feelings but the moment I step home I just can't help it
Daddy come home soon safetly, I love you
3/15/2010 10:29:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
The recent scandal news has been such a disgrace.
i don understand why isit that human cant treasure and cherish what they have, the wonderful family & wife given but yet abuse them.
Before even doing or starting anything, did you ever thought of yr wife ?
And yet stil saying you love yr wife , if you love her in the first place why did u ever do this to hurt her ?
Baby told me few days ago about his teammate having rumors with another gal in the team. And his gf went to ask baby about tt gal and stuffs. It is wrong isnt it ? to ask about yr own bf's thing behind his back? Dont you even trust him ?
But still i believe the guy was at fault, he was really close with that gal and didnt even told his gf.
I RLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
WHY
why cant one treasure what is given to you, if you really did had something with the gal,just tell yr gf and not hide here and there.
And can you imagine the hurt to know yr guy has cheated on you ? someone that you love and also love you once BEFORE ?
ok, maybe i'm overexaggerating towards this issue, but i really feel sad for those victims.
mrTay u better not let me catch you hiding anything from me or any scandals rumors. you guys always thinks that by not telling us is always better lest we get worked up, overthink or make a big fuss.
But little did you knw the more u hide the more worst it gets if we found out.
Rmb there was once he hide from me tt he exchanged numbers with a GIRL on fb and that girl accidentally ringed him.
That was the worst we had, i got so mad that we didnt talk the whole night,i just went to slp and him cldnt even sleep but flood my hp.
no one likes behind hidden from things be it the past, yday i found out something, it may be nth to you. And you got guilty just because i was quiet. In fact, no. i didnt felt anything for it.
But this few days makes me really wonder, what was it that had held us moving since last year, was it really that magical strong love we have?
Or isit just for the sake that we had already gotten use to each other?
Things changed, and it changed really fast.
i have to admit that i am someone that gets sick and tired of things real easy if there isnt anything new.
days now are just so plain, unlike the past despite everynight we still treasure the moments and enjoy the feeling of us in each other arms. BUT now everyday is just like a routine, we go out have meals with friends, chit chat and end the night quickly. Even when we go out, the feeling of holding each other isnt there.
At much i want to remise the feeling of the loving us in the past but the feeling just isnt right. why.
we missed out so damn much of celebrations, valentine's day, anniversaries. due to financial but i believe without money there is still other way we cld do things together romantically. But we din even tried.
physical contacts get lesser and lesser.
Ever since CNY, wisdom tooth extractions.
at times when i wished to build things up once again, but at the thought of building it up all alone demoralize me down.
Seeing you getting tired and you limping around yday, amazingly it somehow didnt get me down like i use to, After thinking i realise i was just numb, numb to all your hurts aches and tiredness. all i could was just qns myself why isit that you cld nvr just be like any ordinary person with no aches or hurts.
Perhaps i'm tired and numb of all this worrying for you.
But no worries, i figured out that despite all this deep deep down i knw i still love you like i use to alt i dont knw why i get so damn irritated with you now and then. And i knw you do still care and love me esp with those msges you send me before after work and training.
i always believe the the love we had was nvr easy to come, so i will always treasure what we have
3/11/2010 10:39:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
*This isnt anything of starting a fight , i just need somewhere to let everything out, dont read if you dont want to*i don wish to quarrel or start a fightYou disappoint me.
From the very starting you shld already knw hw pampered how spoilt am i. So pls stop gng on and on how spoilt and pampered i am. Saying once is enought.
This is the way i am.
I din force you to accept me, i din force you to love me. didnt you knw it well from the start?
This is what i am blessed with.
AND i can say i am very proud and happy to be who i am
and not gettin a job during this vacation bcus after whole 3yrs of studies all i want is to relax and enjoy before moving on to another journey of study life. While you graduated and waiting for SIM did i forced you to get a job right after?
BUT yet you are going ard ranting that i dont want to get a job.
Forcing me to go get one and also emphasising and agreeing to others that if i don work don bother about you and stop you from working and complaining that you have no time for me.
If you don even wish to spend time or give time for me or even want to, i'm fine. I can tell you i wont bother a single bit about you and wanting to spend time.
I understand the suituation of either one of us having a job bcus our expenses are very high.
AND also you have endless training coming up.
SO WHAT, telling me that you have no time for me.
Does that means work+endless training 7days a week full and i cant even make a noise that i want to see you.
AND if that one day happen, it means i don even feel a thing for you.
I knw you love me i knw you care BUT at the least tt i had thought in yr shoes, HAVE YOU ? and tt after so long you jus keep emphasising bcus i am spoilt and pampered ? AND that my parents don even scold me a single bit, so you saying bcus they dont and you must do it ?
HOW WLD I FEEL?
i am yr girlfriend to remind you, someone you used to love. And nw u treating me like this saying such things to me repeatedly makes me damn bloody disappointed and hurt. Using that harsh tone on me and saying things about slapping, you yourself knw that hw much you cant take it if someone slap you. and i can tel you if someone ever slap me, the consequenses wld b hell.
It makes me feel YOU changed so much
It makes me feel that YOU don even miss me a single bit despite yr busy schedule Things isnt the way it use to be anymore.
IT hurts me so much when all you emphasise is me disturbing you and stopping you from working and agreeing with them. i knw i did said even hurting words to you but i used them all in a joking tone but you gave me all those hurtful harsh tone. I mentioned let me rest and i wil start searching for jobs even if i don don worry i will keep myself occupied and nt bother about you a single bit.
But stil i knw you love me
3/08/2010 10:56:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Ever since the last day of sch, i have been so lazy.
Lazy to even upload photos
Lazy to even use and on the com
Lazy to blog
Lazy to find a job
A very bad sign
5mths of vacation, i don even feel like working but enjoy and relax before another journey of sch life.
Then again, what can i do this 5mths ? i'm gonna turn into a pig or hippo or something by rotting everyday just eating play sleep.
5mths without any aim or goals.
But i'm just so very lazy to hunt for jobs.
Adding on if this carry on, no extra income for savings, for overseas trips, and khim wants me to support him huh.
Ever since CNY til now, the texas crazes is still going on, last sat was pub with classmates and we slept at 5am and woke up in the afternoon for texas with EQ,Aaron,Jeslyn,Gwen coming over.
Fri night we all met up for supper at Selegie, Chicken rice, tau huey, AND wasted 1hr or more just discussing on the next location.
And decided on Holland Swensens. Four cars 9 of us.
Yday night again, picked EQ & Jeslyn and met Charles for dinner for Ampang Yong Tau Fu <3 :)
went to charles place and play TEXAS, Aaron,Gwen,Andy came after. OH we lost 20bucks! and i lost 17bucks for MJ on friday.
Supper at Thomsom Roti prata next.
Next sat buffet for wenzheng coming back.
i always tel khim, our schedule nvr allows us to gain both side of the world. When we get close to one side the other side gets so far apart tt its been long since we hanged out with bestestlove.
Even if it was hanging out with any side of the grp we still had to always leave early. BUT this 2 weeks has been so much fun and happy that we neednt have to rush back home or so bcus of his wisdom tooth MC.
But then its back to normal next week, MR is coming up. AGAIN nvr ending training and AS USUAL rowing for Safra THEN even extra training on top of the nvr ending training right ? I stil rmb last yr we had a big fight over SUCH SAME issue again, SP & SAFRA bcus of 6days training.
im tired of this same issue.
Next week even worst, khim is busy workin frm mon-fri with classes and trainings at night. And then sat sun with his that nvr ending training.
This is one reason why i shld go get a job.
arrgghhhh
I need do get many things done first,
* Remove my damn gels nails
* manicure
* pedicure
* waxing
Labels: texas
3/07/2010 10:40:00 AM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
at this time falling sick, high up and down fever, headache, nauseous.
Limit reach after so many weeks.
Nt bad huh, when 2 sleepless night it will all start acting up.
Exams ended, marks 3years of poly.
Lotsa fun celebrations to be updated.
I wanna get well soon bcus I haven even had enough fun yet plus I've gt mad craving for korean food for few mths badly !!
Honey's not auto! After accompanying him for so many days and wed ahead after his wisdom tooth extraction again. Still need me ask :((((((
BUT somethin miracle happen today, gonna update about it tml :)))
LOVE ya honey alt you always irritate me but when I'm sick you are here taking good care of me with lotsa love :)
It will be my turn on wed :)
Korean food!!
Labels: korean food
3/01/2010 10:35:00 PM //
Out of the darkness and into the sun
Ok Andy's good at self camwhoring
