Thursday, September 24, 2009

The net is finally done after 5days, i thought it wld affect me much badly but glad it did not. After being occupied everyday except ydae but still i occupy myself with dramas. So much to update but none to do with khim.

Perhaps each time we catch a movie i wld end up feeling emotional again or isit each time we are out alone. i dont knw. Now we dont meet only after 3 4pm, when his exams are coming assignments piled up training taking all his time. It left me a huge impression how he always floods excuse to meet me, it hurts. It hurts to knw how he doesnt wants to spend time with me. It hurts how i darnt ask frm him. It hurts how each time i say i plan the next days program to have a ans in return see how it goes bcus its nth else but trainings and gym. It doesnt matters to him anymore knwing i'm al alone. He was the one who never says no to me but now who says no to me

Each day i have to hoax myself that he is there, hoax myself he stil loves me,hoax myself that he will want to see me soon.But am i making it even tougher for myself to knw that i was deluding myself.

I'm very much contented, every few hrs we get tgt alt nt alone i treasure i cherish each tiny little gesture of love he shows, just tt simple of him holding me or turning to hold me . 090909 a special day of longetiviy did we spent it tgt? No we din. 20092009 did we spend it tgt? No we din, upon recieving the msg from Shirey of spending this special day well with yr love one and stuffs. A very strong urge floods me, But still we din had the day tgt. We had missed so many days tgt.

Isnt love suppose to be sweet & beautiful? But why, why isit so bittersweet? Why isit as time goes as months and yrs increases, the love fades, the level of romance and sweetness fades. i don need gifts or anythin related to money but even words will do. But i was nvr given assurances.

After many many many saved drafts unpost posts deleted posts, i finally blog it all. I don wanna lose my everything.
But i'm such at a lost what shld i do, i try hard everyday not asking for anything and wait, do what i cld ever do, stand by there. But doing things without appreciation..... i hate it.

Alt i knw someday you wld read this but i knw its pointless bcus i knw u wldnt even say anything about it or saying how i don appreciate what u have done. But i do. I wish someone would understand how i feel instead of how i am not treasuring what i have. And what i'm going tru is far beyond words.

The love lies deep deep in,
life would be meaningless without you.

9/24/2009 12:36:00 AM I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky

The net is finally done after 5days, i thought it wld affect me much badly but glad it did not. After being occupied everyday except ydae but still i occupy myself with dramas. So much to update but none to do with khim.

Perhaps each time we catch a movie i wld end up feeling emotional again or isit each time we are out alone. i dont knw. Now we dont meet only after 3 4pm, when his exams are coming assignments piled up training taking all his time. It left me a huge impression how he always floods excuse to meet me, it hurts. It hurts to knw how he doesnt wants to spend time with me. It hurts how i darnt ask frm him. It hurts how each time i say i plan the next days program to have a ans in return see how it goes bcus its nth else but trainings and gym. It doesnt matters to him anymore knwing i'm al alone. He was the one who never says no to me but now who says no to me

Each day i have to hoax myself that he is there, hoax myself he stil loves me,hoax myself that he will want to see me soon.But am i making it even tougher for myself to knw that i was deluding myself.

I'm very much contented, every few hrs we get tgt alt nt alone i treasure i cherish each tiny little gesture of love he shows, just tt simple of him holding me or turning to hold me . 090909 a special day of longetiviy did we spent it tgt? No we din. 20092009 did we spend it tgt? No we din, upon recieving the msg from Shirey of spending this special day well with yr love one and stuffs. A very strong urge floods me, But still we din had the day tgt. We had missed so many days tgt.

Isnt love suppose to be sweet & beautiful? But why, why isit so bittersweet? Why isit as time goes as months and yrs increases, the love fades, the level of romance and sweetness fades. i don need gifts or anythin related to money but even words will do. But i was nvr given assurances.

After many many many saved drafts unpost posts deleted posts, i finally blog it all. I don wanna lose my everything.
But i'm such at a lost what shld i do, i try hard everyday not asking for anything and wait, do what i cld ever do, stand by there. But doing things without appreciation..... i hate it.

Alt i knw someday you wld read this but i knw its pointless bcus i knw u wldnt even say anything about it or saying how i don appreciate what u have done. But i do. I wish someone would understand how i feel instead of how i am not treasuring what i have. And what i'm going tru is far beyond words.

The love lies deep deep in,
life would be meaningless without you.

9/24/2009 12:36:00 AM // Out of the darkness and into the sun